tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12190090991968734932024-02-07T14:31:21.287-08:00My Weighting PlaceKarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.comBlogger390125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-14256667501867285992016-12-22T15:29:00.002-08:002016-12-22T15:29:50.438-08:00How I FeelI lost weight. A lot of weight. 165 pounds. An entire person. I ran a 1/2 marathon and then another one. I completed a sprint triathlon and then an olympic one. I did ALL OF THAT!<br />
<br />
Then...I changed jobs and didn't have to be the girl that lost weight and did races. I gained some weight.<br />
<br />
THEN...my son was <a href="http://myweightingplace.blogspot.com/2016/02/leukemia.html" target="_blank">diagnosed with leukemia</a>. Healthy eating and fitness went totally out the window at that point. They were replaced with cafeteria meals and sleeping on a fold out couch at the hospital. Thankfully, my son is in remission. He had a bone marrow transplant that consumed all of our lives from April to September.<br />
<br />
I don't know what I weigh, but I know how I feel. Sluggish. Achy. Tired. I miss that joy that I found in pursuing my health and fitness goals. I don't like how I feel.<br />
<br />
I informed the husband that I was going to start recording again tomorrow. Again. The thing is, I know that I can do it again. It is going to take work, but I know what my body can do when I feed it healthy foods and exercise. This isn't a "New Year, New Me" post. It's a "Getting back to Me" post.<br />
<br />
The exciting part for me is that I am going into this next phase of my fitness life with so much more knowledge than I had the first time. I know that I don't want to be the girl that eats 1200 calories a day and exercises 6 day a week. I know that I don't want to be the girl that weighs herself every single day (sometimes more than once a day). I know that I don't want my life to revolve around losing weight.<br />
<br />
What I do know is that I don't like how I feel and I know that I can feel amazing in my own skin once again.<br />
<br />
I'll be starting oh-so-slow. Tomorrow morning I will weigh in so that I know about how many calories I need to get back to my 2ish pounds a week weight loss. Then, I'm meeting a friend at the Y for a weigh lifting session.<br />
<br />
My goals for the next 4-weeks:<br />
- Record daily (as best as possible) and meet my calorie goal 4 out of 7 days each week<br />
- 3 workouts per week that last at least 30 minutes<br />
- Weigh in once a week. That's it. No more. I refuse to allow the scale to control my life. Again. I've walked that road. It's not pretty.<br />
- Blog weekly with a check-in on how I'm doing with my goals. I debated returning to blogging, but I know that it is a great tool for me to process and hold myself accountable.<br />
<br />
<br />
Here we go again,<br />
Kari<br />
<br />
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<br />Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-25358918548594738872016-02-09T06:12:00.002-08:002016-02-09T06:12:54.872-08:00Leukemia<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's been 7 months since my last post. Oy! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Here's my July-December summary: Grad school. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Principal internship. Continued to workout 5-6 days a week. Ate whatever was in front of me and already prepared.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">December 1, 2015: My son had been acting weird. Odd fevers. Leg pain. Lethargic. No explanation. We took him to the doctor and asked him to run labs. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">12:10 PM- My phone rings. It's a doctor that I've never met. <br /><br />Doctor: "He has leukemia. We need you to check in by 1:00 PM. We will admit tonight and start treatment tomorrow morning."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I left work. Went home and got my son and husband. Drove to the hospital. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">In the next 3 hours I would learn:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">- 1 in 30,000 children develop leukemia</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">- My son has the less common type (AML) that only affects 15% of leukemia cases. It is significantly harder to cure. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">- We would spend the next 20 days (it ended up being 24 days) in the hospital. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Round 1 of leukemia failed to put him into remission. Devastated.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">We do another round.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Round 2, which just finished yesterday, finally put my Bug into remission. We are no where near done. He will do one more round of chemo and then go to a different hospital to get a bone marrow transplant. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">My health, of course, took a back seat to my family's needs. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Why am I writing today? Today, for the first time in 2 months, I work up early and got on the treadmill before work. Both of my kids are home and we have a week long reprieve before going back into the hospital. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Today, I am breathing. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">~Kari</span>Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-56275606347337139662015-07-26T04:00:00.000-07:002015-07-26T04:00:01.283-07:00A Simple Trade<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How'd I gain back half of the weight that I lost? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Uhhhhh.... I ate too much.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Calories in. Calories out. It really is that simple. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was talking with a friend yesterday about losing weight. He was talking about the idea of giving up (whatever your favorite food is) forever. I explained that it wasn't about a giving up. It was about a trade. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Yep, a trade. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I don't mean a trade like diet coke for regular or thin crust for thick.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">It's trading your priorities.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I have forgotten about the trade. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Long ago I traded grabbing a candy bar and cheeseburger <u>before</u> dinner for going down water slides. I traded venti white chocolate mochas for being able to ride bikes with my daughter. I traded a third slice of pizza for coaching my son's soccer team. Finally, I traded binging on chips before bed for being able to complete an Olympic Triathlon...multiple half marathons...and just getting out of bed on Saturday morning for a long run.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This doesn't mean I don't eat pizza (2 slices, not 4), drink coffee (skinny caramel latte), diet coke (hangs head in shame.....I had given it up for a long time) and chips that are portioned out in a serving size. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Thankfully, I have remembered the trade before I was back to the 356 pounds of 4 years ago. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">What now? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Back to recording! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I feel like I have said that about 100 times in the past 6 months.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Completing my <a href="http://myweightingplace.blogspot.com/2015/07/toughman-olympic-triathlon.html?spref=fb" target="_blank">Olympic Tri</a> and talking about priorities have reminded me why I record. I don't want to get back to 192 if the only way to get there is through drastic calorie cutting and excessive exercise. I am determined, this time around, to be balance and healthy. If that means that I only get to 250, so be it. I am convinced that my body will respond to healthy eating (1800-2200 calories) and moderate exercise. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Tomorrow, I will record again. I won't record every day. I can't. I can record most days. This is too important to give up or give away. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><br />~Kari<br />
</span><br />Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-30012694633327660042015-07-25T07:42:00.002-07:002015-07-25T07:42:39.179-07:00Toughman Olympic Triathlon <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It's two week past my <a href="http://trifreaks.com/ocean-shores-big-weekend-tri-foot-fest/" target="_blank">last race</a> and I am just now sitting down to share it with you. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Why so long?<br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">- I'm back in school to get my principal credentials and it is keep me very busy. My typically lazy days of summer have been filled with class 9 hours a week and a lot of reading/paper writing. I LOVE my course work, but it definitely has been an adjustment.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">- Writing about a race always makes it seem so final. I didn't want this one to end. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">- There is a part of me that didn't want to share because there were moments on this course that I felt unworthy, too heavy, too slow to be even "racing". I've never been an "I need to win" type of athlete, but this race definitely pushed my limits. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">- I can't tell you about this race without talking about my weight gain. Ugh! Ok, I could. I'm in charge of what I share. :) I've gained weight. I've shared that already. This race would have been WAY easier if I was 100 pounds (heck, 50) lighter. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Here's the GREAT news! I completed an Olympic Triathlon at 275ish pounds and <b>that</b> is freaking amazing. This race reminded me how incredibly strong I am. I can do anything! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Ok, that's all out. Let me tell you about the race!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Swim:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Rocked my swim! I rented a <a href="http://www.wetsuitrental.com/" target="_blank">wetsuit </a>and it was a perfect fit. This was an open water swim. I had given myself an hour to complete the .9 miles. I finished in 39 minutes. I was ecstatic. I came out of the water feeling strong. I even blew the husband a kiss. I've never felt great coming out of the water. My consistent swim training and Master's swim classes have really helped to strengthen my stroke.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="clear: right; float: right; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img height="400" src="https://scontent.fsnc1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpt1/v/t1.0-9/11218851_10206833174930170_4791039991714381326_n.jpg?oh=a9ff8a9da85c1515abaf82a32cf2a775&oe=561448BC" width="225" /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Bike:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Easy transition from swim to bike. I had an Uncrustable on the start of my bike. There was a half ironman going on at the same time as my race, so I was surrounded by some <b>really</b> fast bikes. I kept reminding myself that this was my race and that I had to just stay my course. At one point another cyclist told me that my turn around was right ahead. Jokes on her- that was the sprint turn around. I still had another 6 miles to go. The bike was solid and consistent. I took it 5 miles at a time. Everyone 5 miles, I'd adjust and hydrate. I finished my 25.34 miles in 2:10. I remember looking at my watch at 40 minutes and then again at 2 hours. Not sure what happened for that hour in the middle. Ha! Guess my body took over. I started to ache at some point and had to really tune in to my body, figure out what was hurting and make some adjustments. Never on the bike was I miserable! Getting of the bike was rough- my thighs were <b>tight</b>. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img height="225" src="https://scontent.fsnc1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/11053162_10206833175370181_8391186751552992310_n.jpg?oh=d4bfa906961d6be8a87da8194464e0d2&oe=56172479" width="400" /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Run:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Off the bike and on to the run. I was tired. Really tired. There was no way that I was going to let 6 miles stand between me and completing an Olympic triathlon. I told the husband that I may have to walk, but that I would finish. I started walking. More walking. I decided to just go one mile at a time. My walk is pretty quick. I was walking 14:30 miles for the first 2 miles. Miles 2-4 were on the beach. Those took longer, but I pressed on. I zoned out for miles 3-5. At one point a runner, that was doing the half, passed me. I told her that she was amazing. She told me that we were all amazing. That carried me the rest of the race. I turned a corner and saw the finish line. My watch told me that I still had a mile to go. I was elated. I asked another person if that was really the finish line. It was! I was elated. I ended up walking the entire run in 1:35; that's a 15:19 pace with 2 of those miles being on the beach. I'll take it! I chose not to run because I was worried that I just didn't have enough in me to finish if I put too much out early in the run. I did run across the finish line. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Total time: 4:34:02</span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I finished an Olympic triathlon. </span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It was not easy. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I will totally do it again. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">BAM!<br /><br />~Kari</span>Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-91516550388194750782015-06-16T08:10:00.001-07:002015-06-16T08:10:25.898-07:00Olympic Tri training<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Last July I finished my </span><a href="http://myweightingplace.blogspot.com/2014/09/black-diamond-sprint-tri.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">third sprint triathalon</span></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> and decided that I could do more. Sure, it took me 2 hours, but I had FUN. This is, after all, all about having fun. I emailed </span><a href="http://kylekranz.com/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">my coach</span></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> and asked if I was crazy. He assured me that it would be a challenge, but doable. What I didn't know at that time was that I'd be heavier and deal with a significant ankle and now foot injury during training. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm 25 days out from my <a href="http://trifreaks.com/ocean-shores-big-weekend-tri-foot-fest/" target="_blank">Olympic tri</a>. I don't think I'm ready. I went out for my longest brick a week ago and had a sharp pain in my foot as soon as I started my run. To be honest, it hurt getting out of bed that morning, but I decided it was just tight and would loosen up on the run.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've been training this week on a not-so-good but bearable foot. Massage on Saturday didn't help. I'm hoping that a chiroractor visit tomorrow will solve my problem. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">At this point, I may be walking the "run", but I should be able to get it done. I don't <u>want</u> to walk the run.... My longest ride to date has been 18 miles. I've been doing 2000 meters with minimal rest. My "long" runs have been 5ish miles. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Race Distances:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Swim: .9 miles (1448 meters)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Bike: 25.34 miles</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Run: 6.2 miles</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">To sum up: </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I'm not ready. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">My foot hurts. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I'm way over "race weight". </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I'm doing this. :)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I'm going to make every effort over the next 25 days to prepare physically and emotionally for this undertaking. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">~Kari</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span>Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-66453043171889015062015-06-15T08:15:00.000-07:002015-06-15T08:15:24.309-07:00Not "too big"<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hmmmm.... Where to start?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I haven't blogged in nearly 3 months.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">You know what they say- It's never good when a blogger goes silent. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">The thing is, it has been good. It's been SO good....in most areas.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">- Still working out. Training for an Olympic Tri- more on that very soon.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">- Started a new job in August. Loving it!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">- Applied for "stupid principal school" (kids aren't excited about it and deemed it "stupid principal school"), was accepted, and start classes this week. I can't wait! It's what I have been called to do.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">- Have made some new friends at work that bring me such great joy!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">My eating has sucked! Actually, it started to move to the back burner a few years ago. This year I put it in the freezer. Right next to the double chocolate chip ice cream.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">The truth is that since my <a href="http://myweightingplace.blogspot.com/2012/06/12-marathon-recap-part-1.html" target="_blank">first half marathon</a> (June 2012), I have slowly gained weight. I don't know what I weigh today. It doesn't matter. It never was about the number on the scale. It was about having control over my food instead of allowing my food to control me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Verdana;">I've learned that. Now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I'm doing things with my body at my current weight that I never would have done at this weight years ago. I used to limit my activities because I was "too big". I've learned, through my weight gain, that I'm not too big. Did you hear that? You're not too big. It's harder when you are bigger, but you are <strong>not</strong> too big.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Starting on Thursday (on vacation right now and REFUSE to stress out about this), I am going to start recording again. I'm not recording to lose weight, but rather to regain control. I will lose weight. It's natural. I'm going to set my range high for me to give me the space I need to get back in to the flow of recording with the stress of being hungry. Also, I have this Olympic Tri in less than a month. Now is not the time to create a calorie deficit. I need all of the GOOD fuel possible. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">More on tri training this week! <br /><br />Time to get in a run on the beach before the day gets going. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">How are <strong>you</strong>????<br /><br /><br />~Kari</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span>Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-25916167071286618862015-03-23T20:35:00.003-07:002015-03-23T20:35:46.561-07:00Not Fat<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Getting ready for bed tonight and Sissy announced that she was fat.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><br />That's why she "runs slow". She's "fat".<br />
<br />
SHES NOT FAT!!!!!!<br />
<br />
I'm not blind. She's heavy. <br />
She will probably always struggle with her weight. <br />
She is tall and broad like her mom.<br />
<br />
She's 9. You can't be 9 and "fat". <br />
<br />
I was once 9. <br />
I put myself on a secret diet with a neighbor girl because we were both "fat".<br />
<br />
9.<br />
<br />
Then she told me that I used to be fat.<br />
(She's convinced every picture of me at my heaviest is when I was pregnant.)<br />
Bug interjects, "Now you are skinny mommy". <br />
I told him I'd rather be called healthy or strong. <br />
He picked skinny.<br />
Sissy adds, "That's why your run fast, because you aren't fat anymore".<br />
I don't run fast. I run. Not fast.<br />
<br />
She is not fat. <br />
She's 9.<br />
<br />
It's already started for her. <br />
The insecurity, the comparing, the doubts, the feeling on inadequacy. <br />
<br />
Baby girl, you are not fat. You are hard working, dedicated, kind, generous, helpful, compassionate, and funny.<br />
<br />
Raising healthy children was one of my number one motivations for losing my weight initially. I wanted them to see what healthy looked like. They see it. <br />
She sees it and feels like, AT 9, that she can't achieve it. <br />
<br />
My heart aches for her tonight. <br />
She's 9 and is convinced that she has lost her battle with weight and fitness. <br />
<br />
I'll continue to talk about ways that we can care for our bodies. My prayer, for her, is that it won't taker her until she is 34 to realize that she can be so.much.more than fat.<br />
<br />
~Kari<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
</span><br />
Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-74978679526768319832015-03-22T08:38:00.001-07:002015-03-22T08:38:22.219-07:00Back at it!<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Last Sunday I started recording. Again. I recorded 4/7 days this week. I lost 2.2 pounds. I'll take it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(Excuse the lists... I wanted to post today and a list was all I had in me.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Other changes I made this week:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- I started packing snacks again for work. Snacks include: pre-portioned bags of nuts, cliff bars, fruit, and boiled eggs.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- I planned out lunches that would be filling 3/5 days this week. Still working on figuring out the lunch battle.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- I passed on a bagel and chose a fruit cup for my Sunday afternoon coffee date. The fruit tasted amazing. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- I cut up and planned out 5 days worth of veggies to take to work during the week. This is my favorite renewed habit. I even get to share veggies with co-workers. It makes me feel so good to be fueling their bodies in healthy ways. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- We had spinach smoothies for breakfast twice this week. LOVE when my kids drink spinach for breakfast. It makes me feel like super Mom. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- Pulled up at the grocery store, tired, told Facebook that I wasn't going to buy a candy bar. Guess what?! I didn't buy one. I so appreciate my FB friends that like silly posts like that. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anklegate update: Definitely on the mend. I had decent workouts this week. No pain. On Saturday, I ran with a friend who was SUPER fast (ok, fast in our world) and I had some great times. There is still some tenderness in the joint, but super minimal. I continue to wear my brace when I run and ice it at night when needed. I have a half marathon scheduled on May 3rd... Not sure how that is going to turn out. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">New week. New goals. Going to focus on water intake this week. Water bottle is already packed in the work bag. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">~Kari</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-58473877267808431032015-03-15T08:22:00.002-07:002015-03-15T08:22:27.949-07:00Last Sad Post<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Nope, not my last post. Just my last sad one.... at least for a while.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">270.0</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">WHAT THE HECK?!?! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I have to stop not caring.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">So, here are my new committments:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">- I am going back to recording. Today. Right now. This very moment.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">- I will cut myself slack when I can't record exactly.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">- I will weigh-in on Fridays and track that on my blog.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">My success story is still happening.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">~Kari </span><br />
<br />Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-67379068434825712522015-02-22T19:40:00.001-08:002015-02-22T19:41:33.524-08:00Food Fits<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Big changes are in my near future when it comes to professional stuff. :) Big changes mean having to dress, at times, a little more professional. Truth be told, I do feel amazing when I dress all grown-up like. I hate to even admit that because it taps in to this part of me that is so very uncomfortable with being "pretty" or "looking good". I feel UNCOMFORTABLE with compliments that have anything to do with my appearance. That's for another day...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I went shopping tonight. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For dress pants.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shopping for pants sucks! Shopping for fitted "fancy" pants really sucks.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">No big shock. I didn't find anything that fit. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I texted the husband: "Nothing fits. Going to Costco. Food fits".</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He wrote back: "Buy some bread".</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">SHEESH! Such a guy response.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here's the thing.... I could have gone upstairs to the "plus" section. I could have found a pair of pants to wear. I could have, but I didn't. From about the age of 13 forward I was destined to shop either upstairs or downstairs (depending on the store), but never could I shop on the main floor with the <i>regular</i> girls. When I went shopping with friends I had to just "browse" because I knew nothing in <u>their</u> section would ever fit me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At some point in this weight loss adventure I started being able to shop on the main floor. I'm not going upstairs. I can't. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I left the mall in a state of panic.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Candy at Costco. That was what I needed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Pulled out of the mall and started to turn in to Wendy's to get a Frosty. Except I didn't. I may have uttered some inappropriate language about how this <i>stuff</i> needed to end and how eating a frosty was really <i>dumb</i>. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I got in the right lane and drove to Costco.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Pulling in to Costco I knew what I needed to do. I needed food for the week. Real food. Food that I would buy, take home, and prep. Food that would fill me up and be quick to prepare and eat. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I started shopping (yes, I remembered the bread). I got spinach, sugar snap peas, strawberries, trail mix, grapes, baby carrots, cucumbers, chicken breast, chicken strips, chicken in a can (hmmm...that's a lot of chicken), tomatoes, frozen berries, cliff bars, and some smoked salmon.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I came home...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicJwvayYC9WoWFk6QyK3tBkE5WKnW7p3YADMYVJZgut1nQj3P_hFeZkvr8IrROD85eAM4QxX4yDIJFkdf9t-FhjdEWhkP6XpTH012bbKjTzTzjT-r9ab63AWPKsYL-WWOtjoPK0oOFdOSJ/s1600/IMG_2432.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicJwvayYC9WoWFk6QyK3tBkE5WKnW7p3YADMYVJZgut1nQj3P_hFeZkvr8IrROD85eAM4QxX4yDIJFkdf9t-FhjdEWhkP6XpTH012bbKjTzTzjT-r9ab63AWPKsYL-WWOtjoPK0oOFdOSJ/s1600/IMG_2432.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I portioned out veggies for the next 3 days</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKFOIolCBTB1ztA9A4PxQEsD84tLOwwn3Nu9wFJQjfqJTVgYlK4aI9cordPJBdWKsNG91Q3D-BI3PRRDf0_tKH29iXXcOTgUFfayiSDROstPRbIyw2r7VitB_cp4ym6t9SJS_sOA80X-Ak/s1600/IMG_2433.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKFOIolCBTB1ztA9A4PxQEsD84tLOwwn3Nu9wFJQjfqJTVgYlK4aI9cordPJBdWKsNG91Q3D-BI3PRRDf0_tKH29iXXcOTgUFfayiSDROstPRbIyw2r7VitB_cp4ym6t9SJS_sOA80X-Ak/s1600/IMG_2433.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I boiled eggs</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw5A7MYLPxaI4WOC8oIcfc-MIEbxCfSwDTUMH3Pwfmz9v_AEQJ6zAbhxTYyABoZpcMn3Z43uDIHzFc_6TL8lmHdcR5dvMLMZhmMsedLeq6zKFALHoi7uocttZLLwvLk8hwSnTeFd52YLcG/s1600/IMG_2434.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw5A7MYLPxaI4WOC8oIcfc-MIEbxCfSwDTUMH3Pwfmz9v_AEQJ6zAbhxTYyABoZpcMn3Z43uDIHzFc_6TL8lmHdcR5dvMLMZhmMsedLeq6zKFALHoi7uocttZLLwvLk8hwSnTeFd52YLcG/s1600/IMG_2434.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I measured trail mix</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here's the honest truth- I have been eating CRAP and lots of it. I've been not eating enough and then overeating at night. I can't remember the last time I drank enough water. I'm pushing my body physically through exercise and then rewarding it with unhealthy food.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This can't continue.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>I can't shop upstairs.</b></span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 16.8pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16.8pt;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16.8pt;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">and learning from failure.” Colin Powell</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I know what to do. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now to do it....</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">~Kari</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-10193238744005941212015-02-16T17:23:00.000-08:002015-02-16T17:23:08.503-08:00Too Hard<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Came home from my run today... </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Defeated.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is too damn hard. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Period.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eating "right". Correct portion sizes. Measuring. Having to always think about my food. Not eating my emotions. Planning for success. Drinking water. Eating until I'm full. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Too hard. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I tried to look back today and see when I started gaining weight. It was after my first half marathon. That was nearly 2 years ago. For 2 years I have been trying to recover.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm tired of being on a recovery mission.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(Full disclosure- I ate a bag of potato chips while writing this!)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You know what else is hard? Trying to maintain my level of fitness in my ever expanding body. It's bad. It's really bad. And YET, it's not so bad that I'm stopping myself. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Nothing fits. Even my sweats. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I read old posts. I miss that girl. I miss the one that was so excited about a smaller size or finding a new vegetable to try at the store. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've failed. Completely. It sucks.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I hate how I feel. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I hate how I look in the mirror. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I hate that my super cute short skirt doesn't fit and it's almost short skirt season.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm tired. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I need to either quit, resign to my fate of always ultimately being the "big girl" or get a serious recharge to get out of this slump.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">~Kari</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-45507678385274592272015-01-03T20:21:00.000-08:002015-01-03T20:21:35.663-08:00Rest<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm really good at doing, going, moving, pushing, pursuing, and fixing. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />I rock a really long "to-do" list.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />I am relentless when I set my mind to something. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I do "busy" really, really, <u>really </u>well.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm a problem solver, goal oriented, task master type of girl.</span> </span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don't share this to boast, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">but rather to give some background on why rest is so hard for me. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don't <b>do</b> rest.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My <a href="http://kylekranz.com/" target="_blank">coach </a>schedules an extra rest day and I email him to ask if it's a mistake. (True story!)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I plan what work project I will take home to work for Sunday afternoons becuase I know that I'll have free time.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I eat lunch at my computer not because I have to but because it allows me to multitask. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Two weeks ago the unbelievable happened. Winter vacation started (with really specific direction from my boss to <b>not</b> work over vacation) and my coach gave me a modified schedule that included light workouts and a 5 day (!!!!) rest period. WHATTTTTTT?!?!?!? </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don't <b>do </b>rest. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I did what any non-rester would do- I sent work emails (NO ONE replied!!!) and I asked my coach if I could take classes at the gym (He said NO). UGH!!!!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I fought the "rest period" for about a week. Then I caved..... sort of. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I started cleaning and purging my house. It felt great. I started concentrating on my nutrition again. The extra time was so nice to have. I played games (like actual games that didn't require a computer screen) with my kids. I had coffee and lunch dates with friends. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was busy, but rested. I feel amazing. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I need to rest more. I'm not really sure how to do that once work starts up again. I need to set work limits. I stink at that. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What about you? How do you set limits with work or working out? How do you find balance in such an unbalanced world?<br /><br />~Kari</span></div>
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Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-14137689798602838912014-12-31T08:31:00.001-08:002014-12-31T08:31:07.094-08:004 months = 25 pounds<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Four months ago I got a new job. Not really a new job. Same job, new building. Due to the nature of my work, a new building really does equal a new job since my work is all about the people and each individual requires something special. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I'm not complaining. I love my work. I love the challenge. In my new building I have found a renewed spark that I had lost before. Guess what else I found?! I found 25 pounds. Yep, you read that right. In 4 months I gained 25 pounds. WHAT?! I track my weight on My Fitness Pal and was looking at my weight graph yesterday when I realized this astonishing trend. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I gained weight because I'm unhappy. Right? Nope! Totally wrong. I'm love my job, my staff, the students, everything (uh, almost everything) about my new place! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I'm an emotional eater. I totally own that. What I've never owned, or realized, until yesterday that it's not just that I eat when I'm sad. I also eat when I'm happy or content. My "laziness" in my eating wasn't really lazy, but more of a relaxed, whew, I can breathe sort of eating. I overate out of contentment. I know that sounds odd, but it's true. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Another reason for my gain was that I no longer had people "watching" what I was eating. In my old job, I was surrounded with people that had seen me go from 356 pounds to 193. They knew my struggle. They knew what/how/when I ate. They knew it ALL! I'm now in a place where no one is watching. Kari had 2 donuts, no big deal. Just because no one is watching doesn't mean that the calories don't count or don't effect how I feel. The games we play in our minds! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">(Totally not telling my new staff to watch me eat all the time. I love not being asked, "Can you eat that?". The answer is Yes, yes I can. Should I? Maybe not.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I'm back. I've recorded for the past 6 days. I feel healthy and strong. My mind is once again focused on the prize- health and strength. I'm working on a plan for how to attack being back at work and eating healthy (food prep is the key!). I probably won't lose these 25 pounds in just 4 months, but they will come off. I've faced my biggest fear- I gained a significant amount a weight. I will lose it again. The best part of this is that I've learned a little more about myself and how I adjust to a change in environment and how I celebrate with food. <br />All good stuff! <br />Change is growth!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">A work in progress,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Kari</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span>Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-52129093190073065612014-12-26T08:25:00.001-08:002014-12-26T08:25:41.081-08:00Facing Fears<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I weighed myself today for the first time in months. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The world didn't end. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I didn't even cry. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I laughed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I didn't laugh at the number. I laughed at the fear that that stupid number has had over me for way too long. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here's my reality- I've gained 62 pounds from my lightest weight.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Since being at my lightest weight, I've also-</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- Completed a 2nd half marathon</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- Completed 2 sprint triathlons</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- Inspired others in their own weight loss success stories</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- Modeled an active lifestyle for my children</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- Prioritized fitness to the point that I now get up at 5 AM so that I am sure to fit in my activity</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When I lost my weight, I promised myself that I wouldn't be THAT GIRL that gained it all back. I haven't gained it all back, but am well on my way. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Timehop has been all up in my weight loss business lately. 3 years ago was when I was at my lowest weight and those pictures/status updates have been popping up daily on my phone. I'm actually healthier (in some ways) today that I was in those pictures. I no longer live on diet coke and cheese sticks. My hair isn't falling out. My nails are strong. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I need to lose some weight. I'm not buying new pants and I am training for a freaking Olympic Triathlon (in 197 days!!!). I've got work to do. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm not sure where my body will "settle" in terms of the scale. At 2 pounds a week, I could feasibly be 56 pounds lighter for the race. WOW! What a difference that would make. I know that my body does not always work in a 2-pounds a week guaranteed. Even if I only lost a pound a week, I'd still be 30 pounds lighter by the race. That would still be very significant. Imagine swimming a mile, biking 26 miles, and running 6 miles with 30 pound weights tied to your ankles. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I recorded yesterday. Yep, Christmas day. :) Are you on My Fitness Pal? Add me as a friend- weighting_place. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On a high note- I am still 101.4 pounds lighter than I was 5 years ago. BAM!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The scales<b> is not</b> the end all. If I was eating healthy and a moderate amount of calories and the scale didn't move, that would be a different conversation. The reality is that I haven't been. My body easily gains weight. That's my reality. I'm owning that and moving forward. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I didn't cry today when I weighed myself. That is HUGE growth from 5 years ago. The scale doesn't scare me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rest day on the docket. The kids and I are headed to the gym to go swimming (really just bobbing under water over and over again to say "hi" to each other). I'm hoping to sneak in to the sauna for a few minutes while they play.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh, and I already recorded my breakfast. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">~Kari</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-89211999840131437312014-12-24T20:48:00.000-08:002014-12-24T20:48:00.042-08:00A Gift for Me<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">A few weeks ago I decided to take a week and record my food, once again. It felt amazing. I felt in control. I wasn't starving, but had moments where I was actually hungry (you know, like we are supposed to be). It was a great week. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The week ended.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Here I am....3 weeks later....still overeating....never hungry....training my tail off and seeing little progress because I am swim/bike/running with a butt-load of extra weight. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I tried to put on a belt today and my belt doesn't fit. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I feel uncomfortable in my own skin.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I can tell you exactly why I've gained- I've become lazy with my eating. I'm in a new job (food environment) where it is easy to overeat or not eat all day long. I get a candy bar while grocery shopping. I've turned back to old habits that don't support my goals. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">So, what now?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">It's Christmas Eve and I am giving myself a gift! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm giving myself a fresh start.</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm giving myself permission to own the weight that I've gained and move forward.</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm giving myself the the time that I need to return to me comfortable weight. 1-2 pounds a week. Over and over and over again.</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I have the tools that I need to be successful. I <b>know </b>what and how to eat. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">This time will be a little different. I'm committed to</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">- not resorting to "diet" or "light" products just to meet a caloric goal</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">- <b>not</b> consuming fewer that 1800 calories a day</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">- guesstimating my food to the best of my ability when I'm out instead of avoiding going out for fear of not being able to record/measure my food </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">- weighing myself once a week (Friday are my weigh-in days)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strike>Starting on Friday</strike> Why wait?! Starting tomorrow, Christmas day, I will start recording again. I will record what I can, guesstimate the rest, and move forward. Friday morning I will weigh myself, accept it, and move forward. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I'm looking for a few people that I can "check-in" with as I get back on track. Knowing that I am telling someone else about my successes helps me to keep going. That's why I love my running coach so much- I rarely skip cause I don't want to tell him that I skipped or quit.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Here we go again.... :)<br /><br />~Kari</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-85360507019948132672014-11-25T07:09:00.002-08:002014-11-25T07:09:48.274-08:00Scaling Back- Week 1<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hi friends!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you for all of the encouraging words after my last post. To be honest, I didn't read your comments until today. It hurt too bad. Publishing my <a href="http://myweightingplace.blogspot.com/2014/11/how-are-you.html" target="_blank">last blog</a> and actually "dealing" with it were two very different things. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Another week has gone by. I'm still spiraling. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yesterday I had the crazy idea that I would weigh myself, but not look. I told the husband that he was in charge of tracking my weight. It seemed like a good idea, but then last night I kept waking up and thinking about it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I need to regain control of my eating, but I can't use the scale to measure that success.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When did I start to regain? At 192 pounds. 192 pounds. That number haunted me. I could not get past that number. Eventually the constant 192 pound read out on the scale stopped validating my efforts. It would happen again. I would get down to XXX pounds and, once again, lose motivation after the weight loss stopped. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">All night I wrestled with how do I know if what I'm doing is working without the scale telling me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I want to wear my jeans to work. I can't. I have a pair of 14s that are MIA and a pair of 12s that go over my hips, would wouldn't button even if I laid on the bed and had a kid sit on my stomach before trying to button them. Ouch! They use to fit comfortably.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, I start again. I have the tools. I KNOW what to do. What I don't know is how to measure success without the scale. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Today is Tuesday, so I start on Tuesday. My plan is to make a simple goal for each week and then build on that goal.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Week 1 goal- Record 5 out of 7 days this week while staying is a 1800-2000 calorie range. I know that recording works. I've seen my body change in amazing ways as a direct result of recording. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sub-goal- Find my size 14 jeans! I want to try those on weekly to help track how my body is changing. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When will I be at goal? Never! That's the great and terrifying part. This is a forever process. I'll make progress. I'll slip up and get to start again the next day. I'll wear jeans to work. Drinking water instead of pop will once again become normal. It doesn't end. I don't finish this race....and that's ok. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">~Kari</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-89999420282367087402014-11-16T16:08:00.001-08:002014-11-16T16:08:25.219-08:00How are you?<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The question "How are you" strikes fear in my heart.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do I tell the truth? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do I answer "fine"?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How do I answer this without sounding like a failure?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How am I?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Well....</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm driving through and getting fast food more often than I am filling up my water bottle.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I just bought a candy bar at the store (ate it!) and then got a hot chocolate on the way home.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm eating out of bags instead of portioning out a serving.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can't remember the last vegetable I ate. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I eat until I am full, and then have another serving. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had pop this week on three different days. I don't drink pop!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm anticipating exciting future events that are causing me to struggle to focus on the <b>right now</b> stuff. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Here are some other truths....</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm running farther and faster than I have in a long time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My swims have been solid.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I went for a 30 mile bike ride on Tuesday for "fun" and actually loved every.single.minute.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am having a TON of fun at my new school (job).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">WHAT IS GOING ON???</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've thought about this a lot over the past week or so. I wish that I had amazing insights/answers to share with you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why have I slipped so far in my healthy eating habits? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The truth is pretty simple. I've become complacent in my nutrition. It's easier to eat lucky charms for breakfast than it is to make oatmeal. It is easier to eat a bag of chips than it is to count out a serving. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I suck at balance. I'm such an all or nothing girl. Deprive myself and eat 1200 calories a day AND workout 6 days a week? DONE!!! Forget it all and eat 3000+ calories a day? DONE!! Live in the middle? How? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dying to know what I weigh? Not me! I have NO idea. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I let my weight define me for so long. When I was morbidly obese I defined myself as the </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"big" girl. When I was losing I was that "skinny" girl. I don't know how to live in the middle. <u>What I weigh<b> can not </b>be who I am. </u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, how am I?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm excited about my new job, challenged in my workouts in the most awesome ways, loving the fall temperatures, looking forward to seeing some friends tonight for dinner, looking forward to connecting with <a href="http://biglifelittleblog.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Emily</a> next weekend, and scared to death that I can't get my nutrition under control and that I will return to that morbidly obese girl. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How are you?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">~Kari</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-42534314957423362502014-10-23T07:04:00.002-07:002014-10-23T07:04:56.687-07:005 AM5 AM is my new normal. I go to bed between 9 and 10 and am up at 5 every.single.morning. Yep, even weekends.<br />
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<b>Why 5 AM?</b><br />
<br />
The husband goes to work anywhere from 6:40-7:00-not at all. His job is on a day by day basis and I never know when/if he'll need to leave.<br />
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My work requires many evening activities that make it hard to plan for after school stuff.<br />
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5 AM is the time where I know I can work out, watch a TV show, or just be still. Everyone is still sleeping. The world stops for a few hours.<br />
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<b>I LOVE IT!</b><br />
<br />
I woke up at 5 today and the plan was to run 4 miles. I just couldn't do it. Not today. Instead I watched an episode of Criminal Minds (a super gross one with bugs- yuck!), drank an extra cup of coffee, and read some blogs.<br />
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This has been a yucky week of emotionally charged why-can't-I-stop-crying and feeling so inadequate sort of week. A week where I just want to get together with some friends, watch chick flicks, and just be. I need more 5 AM's in my life.<br />
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Skipped my run this morning. I'll run tonight...not because I have to, because I WANT to.<br />
I just didn't WANT to this morning. I'm learning, slowly, to name what it is that I need and make that happen. There is so much power in being honest with yourself and others about what you need. It's odd that naming what we need can feel so selfish and, yet, we insist that those we love speak up about what they are needing.<br />
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It's 7 AM now...kids are up. They want to eat. Work is waiting for me. Lunches need to be made. Did we do homework last night? Did Bug's clothes get put in the dryer last night?<br />
Life will go-go-go for the next 13 hours.<br />
I will run after work. It's what I want to do. :)<br />
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~Kari<br />
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<br />Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-32750583425012181762014-10-05T07:13:00.001-07:002014-10-05T07:13:49.489-07:00Trigger Foods<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Goal set- Eat healthy food that will help me be a stronger triathlete.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Someone brings you a Cinnabon that they bought just.for.you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You have to eat it. Right?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I <i>had </i>to eat it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Up until that point my eating was in check for the day. After the Cinnabon things got ugly- marshmallows, peanut butter on a spoon, "fruit" snacks. UGH!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Did you know that a classic Cinnabon roll has 880 calories? Nope, I didn't either. I inhaled that thing in probably less than 10 minutes. 880 out of 2000 calories in less than 10 minutes. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here's the thing... It's not the 880 calories, it's how I felt after eating it. How I CRAVED more and more processed foods after eating it. I've never considered foods to be "trigger" foods for me, but after really thinking about my eating yesterday I realized that I do, indeed, have some triggers. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But he bought it just.for.me. How can I turn that away?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Goal set- Eat healthy food that will help me be a stronger triathlete.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I *could* have had a few bites and saved the rest to share with the husband later. But I didn't...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Food isn't "bad", but if it causes me to lose track of my goals, then it is "bad" for me at this time in my life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How do you pass on "special" foods?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">~Kari</span></div>
Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-72350838072312621792014-10-04T07:43:00.001-07:002014-10-04T07:43:44.667-07:00Recording reboot<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's been a long time since I shared my story with a group of strangers. This week at work I had the opportunity to share a little bit about my transformation and it came as a result of my arm scars. To me they are barely noticeable. I forget about them. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I shared about my weight loss, my surgery, and that the struggle continues.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After sharing I had several people come up to me privately and share their story. It was an amazing reminder that we all have a story. MANY people struggle with weight loss...gain...food control issues. Struggling with food seems to be such a lonely road, but in reality it's one that many of us have travelled. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My Fitness Pal (MFP) has been an incredible tool in my never-ending plight to control my portions and calories. I need to go back to a recording system, but am dragging my heels to return to MFP. It works great, but I find myself obsessing over the calories to the point that it became unhealthy. I had my goal range and would either (A) eat even though I wasn't hungry or (B) stop eating even through I was truly hungry in order to meet my goal. I'm a goal oriented girl and I usually meet any goal I set. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I tried just watching my macros. I can't get enough protein without some sort of powder substitute and I really want to eat real food. Not meeting my macro goals every day led to pretty extreme frustration.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Why can't I eat normal and not be morbidly obese? Not saying I'm morbidly obese at this very moment, but if I continue to just eat what/when/how much I want, then I will be back in that spot again.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>What is your goal? </b>Deb asked me that question this week (THANK YOU!) and it really helped to put things in to perspective. My goal is to eat in a way to allows me to perform as a stronger athlete and keeps my body functioning in a healthy manner (blood sugars, cholesterol, all that good stuff). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tracking keeps me accountable...I need that accountability.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At this point I'm considering:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- Going back to MFP</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- Paper recording in a journal with an actual pencil</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>- </b>Focusing on Macros and trying to figure out how to get more protein</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- taking pictures of what I eat (I HATE this idea, but some people love it!)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Do you record your food? </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Have you found a tool that works well for you? </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">~Kari</span><br />
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<br />Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-40000395095784143642014-09-28T07:35:00.001-07:002014-09-28T07:35:15.833-07:00Sharing my heart<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>If I was writing my heart right now, I'd be writing about how frustrated I am that I am training SO hard to see such small gains and how I wish that I was lighter so that running would be easier. I'd be writing about how my race time yesterday, while it was my personal best, it was only 30 seconds faster than 2 years ago when I did the same course. I'd share about how I looked up previous race times last night in hopes that I'd be inspired with my growth, but instead only realized how I am going no way really, really, really slowly. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>30 pounds heavier and 30 seconds faster. *Stomach drops* I want to see more improvement. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Truth be told, I'm angry with myself. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>I ran strong yesterday. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>I'm sore today in a "I worked really hard" sort of way. I left it all on the course.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>30 pounds and 30 seconds. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>I had a new PR yesterday and all I can think about is how much faster I could be if I was skinnier.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">--------------------------</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Today should be a race recap, but that will have to wait. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was sharing my heart with the husband last night and he pointed something out. I AM 30 pounds heavier and I RAN 30 seconds faster. Not only that, but I ran with a strength that I have not had in any other race. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I think about how I could be faster <b>if only</b> I was skinnier.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was skinnier. I wasn't faster. I definitely wasn't stronger.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Where do I go from here? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've struggled with this skinny vs strong vs healthy vs being a size medium for so long. I want to be a faster, stronger athlete. Can I be that person at my current weight? If not, then how do I get to a lighter racing weight without going back to the person I had to become to get down to a still "overweight" but closer to "normal" than I am now? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Do I just accept that this is it?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Race recap coming soon. It was a good one. :)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">~Kari</span><br />
Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-66689904007175634932014-09-15T06:45:00.000-07:002014-09-15T06:45:13.758-07:00Black Diamond Sprint Tri<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have a new event to add to my "must-do" races! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's the <a href="http://aasportsltd.com/events/race/black-diamond/" target="_blank">Black Diamond Tri</a> ran by AA Sports. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Such a great race! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Well organized, helpful on course signs, and fantastic post-race food. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've been trying out a Bia watch over the past 2 weeks and used it for me race. I'm still not sure if I love the watch, but here are my splits from the watch report. They are spot on with the race splits. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigGOAjf8GUhsYGGy0AoI_OfI83JZOwveD91ni86_ZU4ebvy147BB42OQmG7Q_c8RwCHJe06BKvUYwyzuZDVdWOn6BxD_k7FSTnz66IgAVBDA27PfUzArx1dc7X2bEhGY6cYO3X_CFHCZtf/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-09-15+at+6.18.00+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigGOAjf8GUhsYGGy0AoI_OfI83JZOwveD91ni86_ZU4ebvy147BB42OQmG7Q_c8RwCHJe06BKvUYwyzuZDVdWOn6BxD_k7FSTnz66IgAVBDA27PfUzArx1dc7X2bEhGY6cYO3X_CFHCZtf/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-09-15+at+6.18.00+AM.png" height="236" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This tri had some odd distances. The "race" distances were .50 mi, 11 mi, and 2.8. Looks like the GPS in my watch is fairly accurate. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On to the race...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><u>SWIM</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I felt ready for the swim. I got in the water. I warmed up....not enough.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The race started and I started to panic. I couldn't breathe. The water was cold (yes, even in my wetsuit). I stuck with my stick near the back strategy and waited for the crowd to clear. All I could do was breast stroke for the first chunk. Still can't breathe. How am I going to get this done. The doubts begin. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Near the first buoy this very sweet girl (who I'm sure saw that I was struggling) says, "It's ok, I'm not a strong swimmer either. We can do this". Her sweet comment really fired me up. I AM a strong swimmer. I took a deep breath and took off. I can do this. I told myself that I could breathe every single stroke but that I had to get my face in the water and start swimming. I swam strong the last 2/3rds of the swim.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaatYQZAwCi079JHzj_vi5j4zomX1HYMpKM3HGjxzhyphenhyphenV70Lv_0WK5P_-CN-p1tXnMV8Exzx7utyf2VRvhELTJ4Tn60X-jB51Ufzkit6qdjQcxhnpKEJVBcNdLE0gynVZ6nxlC6IoCXCt3s/s1600/IMG_2152.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaatYQZAwCi079JHzj_vi5j4zomX1HYMpKM3HGjxzhyphenhyphenV70Lv_0WK5P_-CN-p1tXnMV8Exzx7utyf2VRvhELTJ4Tn60X-jB51Ufzkit6qdjQcxhnpKEJVBcNdLE0gynVZ6nxlC6IoCXCt3s/s1600/IMG_2152.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Feeling tired and accomplished!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Transition 1- I AM SOO SLOW at this transition. Sigh. It beats my 8 minutes from last year, but it's still badddd.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><u>BIKE</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The bike course was beautiful out and back along a country road. Police were directing traffic, making the course feel super safe even through the roads were "open". There were two hills that were challenging. At one point I considered getting off my bike and walking up, but was able to talk myself out of that. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My bike performed just like it should. :) I always spend my race rides worried about some sort of mechanical failure. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At mile 9 I started thinking about my run. I heard my coaches voice telling me to find my easy pace and run the 2.8 mile run. Did I have it in me after the swim and bike? Could I maintain a slow and steady pace? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Felt great after returning from the ride. </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWMeK5iEcHeUyPyyoXvUMRVmtdD7PnZeASx1MVgESXMyftkig_WebAhvQh0k3ca5NvJThiUGtX8W-kpWTPFUBvlqq6gaXVaYN0G8HsTN0RUccLOsoy-DfPZo_DzXj9FNGHFMxHR_xQK8Fv/s1600/IMG_2157.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWMeK5iEcHeUyPyyoXvUMRVmtdD7PnZeASx1MVgESXMyftkig_WebAhvQh0k3ca5NvJThiUGtX8W-kpWTPFUBvlqq6gaXVaYN0G8HsTN0RUccLOsoy-DfPZo_DzXj9FNGHFMxHR_xQK8Fv/s1600/IMG_2157.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">I was having so much fun!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><u>RUN</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dismounted, threw on my tank top and started off on the run.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Slow and steady. Find my pace. Run my race.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The run course was twice around the lake. The trail was dirt, but not super technical. There were a few up/down hills. Not my normal sidewalk, city roads conditions that I normal run. I pressed on. I was still running. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">First lap done. I didn't walk. Yet.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Second lap started. I decided to walk up this one hill to try and catch my breath so that I could haul to the finish line. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I wanted to stop running around mile 2. There were great direction signs for the run course that just said "runners" with arrows. My new mantra started- runners run. I had to run. I'm a runner. Runners run. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I ran...and ran...and ran. I found and maintained my "easy" pace. I maintained a 13:00-13:30 minute pace for all 2.8 miles. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">WHOOP! </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-4d0nJDIPvZ1B7F7E3-QKht-S74sOGSLrkFwdADr23gz4EPOMhOV2c7W7rElyfuB4d190V4heQXmzn8UoAb_Pq6MWHTuk93hu4TR1eItFCuxjEXrMrDj9EbBUG4mbHNhzI1EaoZhHKKfY/s1600/IMG_2178.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-4d0nJDIPvZ1B7F7E3-QKht-S74sOGSLrkFwdADr23gz4EPOMhOV2c7W7rElyfuB4d190V4heQXmzn8UoAb_Pq6MWHTuk93hu4TR1eItFCuxjEXrMrDj9EbBUG4mbHNhzI1EaoZhHKKfY/s1600/IMG_2178.JPG" height="396" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">There are my babies (in the purple and green shirt) cheering mommy on to the finish line!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I had a great race. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I swam, biked, and ran strong. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I finished with gusto and didn't die post-race. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The little voices that tell me I'm not enough or don't belong were minimal. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm not built like an athlete. I did notice how much smaller most of the athletes were than me. It takes a lot more to run 220ish pounds up and down those hills than it does if I weighed 120. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>I may not "look" like I triathlete, but I am one. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Highlights of the race were racing with my friends son and husband. It was her son's 16th birthday. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgekAecsEFutPHA9zAAmuJOpqunGsBjMU3b05Fe80eY2yGF41ixKzsleytluNIWpHIATpkqSTKH_5wPLW-RamN9CI9s5tsoIsrk08DubtNAO7AQd1nyHCX3l0rR53tpXmazgtvsFB-Uj-Ub/s1600/IMG_2175.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgekAecsEFutPHA9zAAmuJOpqunGsBjMU3b05Fe80eY2yGF41ixKzsleytluNIWpHIATpkqSTKH_5wPLW-RamN9CI9s5tsoIsrk08DubtNAO7AQd1nyHCX3l0rR53tpXmazgtvsFB-Uj-Ub/s1600/IMG_2175.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Who would have guessed 16 years ago that we'd be racing together. The other BIG win for the day was that the husband and the kids were there for the entire race. We were all up and 6 and off to the race. I love them SO much! I could not do this without their support.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN5Lxx2L_VZccmGjRYGbIdywgaCRxPzbZRwaR4600lA4XuOVz1a2mIUeTjgXgyzhD3gX1eY1ApV-eGvc7vFnYTBu_UMZ_FH9dQ-aMfk07KdxELJKcZbo9EAikEUV-6Ludy1-r0eNq7i0ee/s1600/IMG_2172.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN5Lxx2L_VZccmGjRYGbIdywgaCRxPzbZRwaR4600lA4XuOVz1a2mIUeTjgXgyzhD3gX1eY1ApV-eGvc7vFnYTBu_UMZ_FH9dQ-aMfk07KdxELJKcZbo9EAikEUV-6Ludy1-r0eNq7i0ee/s1600/IMG_2172.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Best support crew in town!</span><br /></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Can't wait to do this one again!</span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">~Kari</span></div>
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Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-44753119032279421812014-09-12T06:49:00.002-07:002014-09-12T06:49:52.828-07:00Sads<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The truth is that lately I've had the sads. Nothing major, just small periods of sad that seem to go on for days. Things are GOOD right now. Job- good. Training- good. Food- getting better. Kids- good. Things are <b>good</b>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Why am I sad?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(I've stared at this question for several days.... )</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I think that my sad is really more of a little lost or a lack of direction.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm a goal focused type of girl. I follow a plan.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My last tri is this weekend. The training is done. I have some "pre" post race blues.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My son had a BIG doctor appointment (he's fine) looming in the future. The appointment came and went. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm in a new job and am starting the real meat of my work next week. I'm READY to get going and have to wait.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There are no "big things" on my horizon and that has me feeling <strike>sad lost unfocused</strike> .... I can't describe it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So I press on. I keep doing what I know to do. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I eat to fuel.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I exercise for both mental and physical stability.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I love my family and friends.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I make people smile.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How are YOU? Really, I want to know.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">~Kari</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-42661960601561607532014-09-07T07:28:00.000-07:002014-09-07T07:28:51.104-07:00Insecurities gone WILD<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It always works out for Kari.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's true. Almost always.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am incredibly blessed and almost always things have a way of going in the direction I want/hope/pray/wish for.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Over the summer I applied for a job and I didn't get it. I was pretty sure it was a sure thing and they chose someone else. That rocked my world. I've never interviewed and not been pick. (Poor baby, I know!)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've gained back some weight. No big secret there. I always swore that I wouldn't be THAT girl. The girl that gains and loses 150 pounds over and over again. I'm on my way to being THAT girl and it sucks. Honestly, I think the reason it took me until the ago of 33 to even consider losing weight was because I didn't want to try something that I was confident I'd accomplish. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I work out VERY consistently and am always in the bottom of my age group. It's frustrating to know that your all is in the bottom quartile of others. I often question if I'm meant to compete. I LOVE it. Do I deserve to even show up to play? Should I just go back to my fitness classes at the gym? Glue my bench to the floor and never move again.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Over the past few months I've made some MAJOR changes....</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I didn't get the job that I initially applied for. I got a better one. The first one was a "it will be fine, I just need something new" sort of job. The one that I ended up getting is a "this is exactly where I am meant to be" sort of job. I'm glad I didn't get the first job, but not getting it has made me really insecure in my skill set. Being in a new job also has me a bit on edge. What if they don't like me? (They have been very vocal that they do!) What if I can't live up to their expectations? (I KNOW in my <b>head</b> that I can.) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm working on the weight gain. I'm taking it one day at a time. I'm focused on eating healthy over eating to lose. What if I can't get this under control What if I'm destined to be morbidly obese and there is nothing I can do to stop it?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I took the next step in fitness and hired a great <a href="http://myweightingplace.blogspot.com/2014/08/my-big-secret.html" target="_blank">coach</a><span id="goog_1214311624"></span><span id="goog_1214311625"></span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/"></a>. I'm seeing gains in both my speed and comfort level, but I constantly feel like it's not enough. I look back at my times thinking I will see big drops in my pace, but it's not there. I can tell you that I FEEL so much stronger when I run. One of my goals when I started working with Kyle was that I wouldn't feel like death the entire run. I am getting to that place, which is exciting. We've only been working together for a month and I need to cut myself some slack. I worked out before school every.single.day last week. That alone is a miracle the first week of school.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Why share this? I guess to remind myself that my insecurities (and yours!) don't have to drive my actions. Suck it up buttercup is frequently my answer to my babies when they don't want to do something. My insecurities put me in this </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"I don't wanna" place. Not doing what I KNOW I need to do will only fuel that insecurity. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My name is Kari and sometimes (ok, pretty often) I'm insecure about my skills or qualities that make me amazing. I'm a work in progress....</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">~Kari</span><br />
Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219009099196873493.post-63740892948114989102014-09-06T07:45:00.002-07:002014-09-06T07:45:48.460-07:00Hold My Hand<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Will you come hold my hand?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm working my tail off during my workouts and then punishing my body with crappy foods and way to much food. I'm seeing gains in my workouts. How much more would I see if my eating was in check?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My fridge is full of wilting vegetables. I have the best of intentions. They are even cut-up. I still grab the snack size bag of oreos.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There always seems to be *something* coming up.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Monday is my birthday (I LOVE MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!). Can't record that day. What if someone gets me a cupcake. What if the family takes me out to dinner? Why should I have to limit my food on MY birthday?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tuesday we are going to the fair. I must get a scone. Right? We can pack lunch, but have to eat dinner there. There are NO healthy choices at the fair. Right?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wednesday. Ok, Wednesday I can record. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then it's TGIF....then a concert...then another round of family birthdays...then the holidays...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I need someone to walk around with me, hold my hand, and tell me over and over and over again that the amazing food (that often really isn't <i>that</i> amazing....) won't fulfill me or help me achieve my fitness goals. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's no longer about being skinny. There is a <u><b>great</b></u> freedom in that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don't know how to measure progress without a scale.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Recording (come friend me- weighting_place on MFP) keeps me on track with my calories and overall food consumption. It really does! The battle between this is too hard vs I feel so good when I don't overeat vs why can she have a donut really sucks.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As you hold my hand, will you please remind me that what my body needs is unique to only me and that I can't spend my life comparing myself to others.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Remind me of how far I've come. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Remind me of the girl that would eat a double cheeseburger while waiting to go in to the gym.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Remind me of the first time I crossed a finish line after a 5k and then nearly threw up because it was so very hard.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Remind me of the little girl this summer who said that she wished her mommy would play with her like I play with my babies.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Remind me of how very, very, very hard it was to only buy clothes in the big girl shops and often not find anything that was big enough. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One last thing, while you hold my hand, whisper my goals to me over and over again so that I don't lose my focus just because I'm having a bad day...or I'm tired...or I'm celebrating...or I just forget.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A girl can dream!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">~Kari</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Karihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12361822126973131737noreply@blogger.com4