Monday, March 23, 2015

Not Fat

Getting ready for bed tonight and Sissy announced that she was fat.

That's why she "runs slow". She's "fat".


I'm not blind. She's heavy.
She will probably always struggle with her weight.
She is tall and broad like her mom.

She's 9. You can't be 9 and "fat".

I was once 9.
I put myself on a secret diet with a neighbor girl because we were both "fat".


Then she told me that I used to be fat.
(She's convinced every picture of me at my heaviest is when I was pregnant.)
Bug interjects, "Now you are skinny mommy".
I told him I'd rather be called healthy or strong.
He picked skinny.
Sissy adds, "That's why your run fast, because you aren't fat anymore".
I don't run fast. I run. Not fast.

She is not fat.
She's 9.

It's already started for her.
The insecurity, the comparing, the doubts, the feeling on inadequacy.

Baby girl, you are not fat. You are hard working, dedicated, kind, generous, helpful, compassionate, and funny.

 Raising healthy children was one of my number one motivations for losing my weight initially. I wanted them to see what healthy looked like. They see it.
She sees it and feels like, AT 9, that she can't achieve it.

My heart aches for her tonight.
She's 9 and is convinced that she has lost her battle with weight and fitness.

I'll continue to talk about ways that we can care for our bodies. My prayer, for her, is that it won't taker her until she is 34 to realize that she can be so.much.more than fat.



Sunday, March 22, 2015

Back at it!

Last Sunday I started recording. Again. I recorded 4/7 days this week. I lost 2.2 pounds. I'll take it.

(Excuse the lists... I wanted to post today and a list was all I had in me.)

Other changes I made this week:
- I started packing snacks again for work. Snacks include: pre-portioned bags of nuts, cliff bars, fruit, and boiled eggs.
- I planned out lunches that would be filling 3/5 days this week. Still working on figuring out the lunch battle.
- I passed on a bagel and chose a fruit cup for my Sunday afternoon coffee date. The fruit tasted amazing. 
- I cut up and planned out 5 days worth of veggies to take to work during the week. This is my favorite renewed habit. I even get to share veggies with co-workers. It makes me feel so good to be fueling their bodies in healthy ways. 
- We had spinach smoothies for breakfast twice this week. LOVE when my kids drink spinach for breakfast. It makes me feel like super Mom. 
- Pulled up at the grocery store, tired, told Facebook that I wasn't going to buy a candy bar. Guess what?! I didn't buy one. I so appreciate my FB friends that like silly posts like that. 

Anklegate update: Definitely on the mend. I had decent workouts this week. No pain. On Saturday, I ran with a friend who was SUPER fast (ok, fast in our world) and I had some great times. There is still some tenderness in the joint, but super minimal. I continue to wear my brace when I run and ice it at night when needed. I have a half marathon scheduled on May 3rd... Not sure how that is going to turn out. 

New week. New goals. Going to focus on water intake this week. Water bottle is already packed in the work bag. 


Sunday, March 15, 2015

Last Sad Post

Nope, not my last post. Just my last sad one.... at least for a while.



I have to stop not caring.

So, here are my new committments:
- I am going back to recording. Today. Right now. This very moment.
- I will cut myself slack when I can't record exactly.
- I will weigh-in on Fridays and track that on my blog.

My success story is still happening.


About Me

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On June 19, 2009 I started my weight loss journey. It has become quite the journey! As of today (2-1-11) I have lost 162 pounds and have gained a whole new life. This blog is a continuation of my journey. I hope to inspire and encourage others through my process.