January Monthly Running Check-in

On January 1st I was feeling all optimistic and energized. I agreed to run another half marathon. I did my first polar plunge. I announced to the Facebook world (do you follow me on Facebook?!) that I would run 244 miles in 2014. I promise I wasn't drinking that day. 

Goal Check-in Time:

In January I ran 21.83 miles. That means that I am 8.9% done with my goal. Right on track!

I did register for a half marathon on May 4th. According to the website that is in 92 days. I need to start thinking about training, but first I have my first 10K trail race on March 29th to be thinking about. The good news is that with my Saturday trail running group we've been covering right around 4.5 miles on our weekend runs. 6.2 should be no sweat. Well, lots of sweat, but totally doable. 

Those dates are awfully close together when I really look at the calendar. I'm wondering if my trail runs can count as my road race training runs. Trail running and road running are so very different. Any running experts out there know the answer?

I checked-out "Run less, Run Faster" from the library, but haven't started it. I'm hoping to follow that plan for my half training. Probably opening the book is a good first step. :)

What about you? Are you currently training for a race?

~Kari

Girl Problems

Boys- Beware! This is a super emotional, mushy girl problems sort of post.....


I'm super emotional these days. Last night I cried during the Biggest Loser Triathalon. It really wasn't that emotional. I just finished crying about a lady who won tickets to THE Super Bowl. My kids are having a tough go at school. That made me cry. 

It's so hard to not eat away my tears.

I'm tired. 

I keep reminding myself this is a temporary "condition". It will pass.

Our homework isn't done and the kids are still sleeping. Do I wake them to finish homework or blow off homework. (I'm letting them sleep.....)

This is the first time since I started recording again that I've had my "special time" of the month. It sucks! I want to eat pizza and chips. I'm not, but I want to. 

I cheated and weighed myself this morning. The good news is that I am right about where I was last week. I'm not entering my weight and my plan is to not weigh again until next Friday (my original plan). 

One kid is up. Time to start my day. 

My commitments for today:
- I will stay in my calorie range.
- I will leave work on time.
- I will watch my daughter at swim lessons. 
- I will play a game with my kids after dinner.
- I may cry some more. :)

What are you committing to today? 

~Kari

Random Tuesdayness

The past few weeks have been about breathing, recording, and reflecting.

Looking back on my weight loss gain chart on MyFitnessPal, I noticed something pretty significant...

What I have been obsessed over (a 25 pound weight gain) has actually been an 11 pound gain in the last year. 

A pound a month essentially.

THIS is what scares me about weight gain.It can be so gradual. Those flat lines aren't when I was maintaining my weight- it's when I wasn't recording/monitoring my weight. See from 11/05 to 12/17? The wavy lines are the real story of weight- it fluctuates.

I'm sticking with my ever other week weigh-in and it is hard. Since I weighed myself last Friday I have been *thinking* about weighing myself pretty much daily....

Recording has been going good. I did have way too many tortilla chips last night. Blasted husband for buying the chips. :) He can control his portions. Me, not so much. Sigh!

Busy day with work and kids today. Yesterday became an unscheduled rest day, so I knew I'd need to start my morning with some exercise. Do you do at home DVD's? They are becoming my new go-to. Today I did Jillian Michales: Shred it with weights. Whew! That was a workout for sure. The turkish get-ups at the end really whooped my butt. I did the beginner workout. I think I could do advanced, but wanted to see how sore I am tomorrow before trying advanced.

Last night the kids and husband tried squash for the millionth time. One of these days they will like squash. The good news is that kids are obsessed with homemade waffles. The other day Sissy wanted to know why the homemade ones are brown (whole wheat flour) and the frozen ones are white. We had a good talk about processing of foods. Everyone is in agreement that the homemade ones are better. I've been making banana-cinnamon waffles from Cooking light. I double the bananas and leave the flax seed in kernels instead of grinding it. SOOOO good. This weekend I got smart and made a double batch so that we can pop them in the toaster during the week. My kids are learning way more than I ever did about nutrition. They are my #1 source of motivation. 

Off to start my day!

~Kari

Promises Kept

Weigh-in eve I made myself some promises. I repeated these promises to myself before stepping on the scale. 

Promises about the scale:

- My weight tomorrow will not determine what I eat tomorrow.

- If I'm over 220 it does not erase the 165 pounds weight that I have kept off.

- The scale is only one measurement. 

I wanted to be under 220. I was. :)

I wanted to run this morning. I did.

I wanted to maintain healthy eating regardless of my weight. I have my food planned for the day.

Thinking about my weight....

I'm a pound more than I was in October.

I'm up 26 pounds from my lowest weight.

I have lost 136.6 pounds/38.4% of my starting body weight!

In an effort to not obsess over the scale, my weigh-ins will happen every 2 weeks. The next one will be on February 7th. What do I hope to weigh? I don't. I hope to be healthier on February 7th than I am today. I hope to have recorded for 29 days. I anticipate being around 215, but I know that sometimes our bodies are strange and hold on to weight for odd reasons. 

What about you?

Where do you hope to be in 2 weeks?

~Kari

Back to Weigh-ins

Tomorrow morning I will step on the scale. According to My Fitness Pal I haven't weighed myself since December 4th. That's when I started giving up. That's when things got really discouraging. That's when it all became too hard. 

December was ugly.

January 10th was the ugly coming to a head. 

My plan was to get back to basics. Exercise and record. This time had to be different. I could NOT be the 1200 calorie a day girl. Not this time.

14 days later and I've been recording and staying (on most days) between 1800-2000 calories a day. I feel satisfied and even have hunger feelings between meals. It feels good to feel hungry. Not starving. Hungry.

Tomorrow I'll try on my jeans again. 

Tomorrow I'll record and exercise.

Tomorrow I'll weigh myself for the first time in over a month. Honestly I have no idea what to expect. I'm hoping to be under 220. I *might* not be. 

Some people may wonder why I'm even using the scale. For me the scale is a reminder of how far I've come. It's not the end all, be all. It's one measurement. It's a measurement that works for me in both accountability and encouragement. 

Promises about the scale:
- My weight tomorrow will not determine what I eat tomorrow.
- If I'm over 220 it does not erase the 165 pounds weight that I have kept off.
- The scale is only one measurement. 

Getting these promises out tonight will help me to focus in the morning. 

Tomorrow I will weigh myself. Record my weight and move on.

5 AM wake up call so that I can either run or make it to an class at the gym (learning towards a run...) 

I'll keep you posted! 
Thank you to everyone that has been encouraging me and cheering me on over the past few "ugly" week.

Looking forward!
~Kari

Owning IT and Moving on

I'm a week past the great episode with the pants and I have to say things are going ok. I've recorded for 9 days in a row (whoop! whoop!) and have only going over my goal of 1800-2000 calories once. Mad thanks to all of my new friends on MyFitnessPal. You are super encouraging. 

My once was last night. We went to see Disney Live with a few friends. The kids had an amazing time and we left with only 2 head injuries. Not too bad for 5 kids under 8. :)

After the show we decided to go out for dinner. I could lie and say that I wanted vegetarian and everyone else chose Johnny Rockets, but that's a big fat lie. I wanted protein. Earlier that day we went on a great 4.12 mile trail run that kicked my butt. I needed to replenish plus french fries sounded good.

I went to Johnny Rockets, had an original (without mayo) and fries, ate the entire thing, and then owned it. Right there in the middle of the restaurant I added my food to My Fitness Pal. I knew I'd go over. I knew it would make my chart look all wonky. It was ok. 

Sometimes people spend their entire lives feeling like a failure because they dwell on the setbacks or "failures" of their past. Eating a cheeseburger was not a failure. It was a choice. The control to drive there, order, and eat said cheeseburger was completely mine. I savored every bite. 

I'm on track with my plan. On Friday I tried on my jeans. Sadly, they are still really uncomfortable. The good news is that they did go over my hips and they did button. I felt like a stuffed sausage, but they did button. The jeans went back in the drawer for another week. Next Friday will be my weigh in. To be honest I'm really looking forward to it. I know I won't be that once dreaded, now-I-want-more-than-anything, 192. That's ok. No freak outs, I promise. 

Owning it and moving on!

~Kari

My next steps....

Last Friday I posted a big, ugly, my pants don't fit, woe is me sort of post. 

I have the best support systems in the world. My phone lit up with emails and tests of people asking how they could help. A few asked if I was recording. A few wanted to let me know that I wasn't alone. 


Before losing 165 pounds I never tried to lose weight. Sure, I'd do the occasional soup diet, but never really tried.  When I started losing weight I just kept on losing. I'd have weeks where I wouldn't lose, but never more than 3 weeks without a significant loss.

My weight loss never prepared me for a weight gain.

I never thought I'd be that girl. The one that has gained and lost 100 pounds several times over the past decade.  

I won't be that girl.

I've gained. I don't know how much, but I know I'm not finished. I didn't fail. I had a setback. 

I have a plan

My plan:
- Reach out to those that offered to keep me accountable. (Did you offer? I'll be emailing you soon!)
- Track daily. Everything. All of it. Even if I go over my allotment.
- Eat 1800-2000 calories a day
- After recording for 2 weeks, then I will weigh myself (January 24th)
- Exercise 5-6 days a week (This has, amazingly, become the easiest part of my journey)


I'm waiting to weigh myself until after I've recorded for a bit to get a more accurate weight (less fluid retention/bloating from food coma) AND because they will give me 2 weeks of healthy eating to recover a bit. 

I KNOW that the scale is only one measurement. My teacher friends will appreciate that it is my quick and easy formative assessment. It's an easy way to see if how I'm eating is getting me towards my goal. My other formative assessment? My pants. On Friday (Jan. 17th) I'll try on my jeans again. If they don't fit? See my plan above. :)


~Kari

What my body needs....

I threw away my "fat" clothes because I was never again going to be that size.

I tried on 4 pairs of pants this morning.

Not a single pair went over my hips.

I did what any logical person would do. I crawled back into bed and sulked.

The ever supportive husband asked how he could help.

He can't.

He already does.

He has always been my #1 cheerleader.

Over the past few weeks I've "recommitted" several times to recording. Recording works for me. My sticking-to-it has not been working lately.

1200 calories a day keeps the weight off, but makes me someone that I don’t want to be.

Total abandonment causes me to gain an unhealthy amount of weight and means that I will soon have to be going to work naked.

1800-2000 calories a day is what my body needs.

Why, why, why can I record and commit at 1200 calories, but not at 1800?

I did eventually crawl out from under the covers, put on a stretchy skirt and headed to work.

I need some accountability.

I need someone to ask me how my recording is going.

I need help, but I’m not really sure what the help looks like.

This post probably makes no sense, and that’s ok.

~Kari

2013- The High(and low)light Reel

2013 was a tough year when it comes to my journey. I've spent the past few days reading through my posts. Below are a few of the high(and low!) lights....

I started the year much like I am ending it...

Glad Nobody's Asking

I didn't post for 2 months because it was just plain hard. The March running challenge encouraged me with how far I've come.

Overcoming

My goals for April were quickly dashed, but this post made me smile and nod when I reread it.

Seeing Clearly

I tried Zumba again and loved it! Why haven't I gone back? I think I need to get a Zumba game for our Xbox. any recommendations?

Zumba vs Core

May was AMAZING! I decided to attend Fitbloggin. I rode my bike for 30 miles for the first time ever! I started triathlon training. 

She gets it!

June brought a heartbreaking conversation with Baby girl. I was also gearing up for Fitbloggin that month so much of my writing was about how scared I was to embark on this new adventure. 

Just let me get fat!

July was amazing! I should live in July.

We've All Got Crap- Fitbloggin Recap

We started eating "clean" dinners. This is still happening!

Is Okra a Fish?

In August I became Spartan and a Triathlete!

September allowed me to put in to practice all of the cardio that I've been saving up when we had an emergency at work. 

Functional Fitness

In October I became my son's soccer coach. That was a highlight for me! 

November and December have been hard. The bod pod test was enlightening and will provide me with great information leading in to 2014. 


It's January 1, 2014.
Please don't sign up for some quick fix when it comes to weight loss and fitness. This will take time. Your goals are possible and will take work. Hard work. Nothing that can be completed in 6 weeks or 3 easy payments. Reading through my old posts have reminded me of the crazy ride we are all on. Some amazing things happened to me in 2013. Without that craziness, I don't think that the amazing would have been possible.

Happy New Year!

~Kari