Thursday, December 22, 2016

How I Feel

I lost weight. A lot of weight. 165 pounds. An entire person. I ran a 1/2 marathon and then another one. I completed a sprint triathlon and then an olympic one. I did ALL OF THAT!

Then...I changed jobs and didn't have to be the girl that lost weight and did races. I gained some weight. son was diagnosed with leukemia. Healthy eating and fitness went totally out the window at that point. They were replaced with cafeteria meals and sleeping on a fold out couch at the hospital. Thankfully, my son is in remission. He had a bone marrow transplant that consumed all of our lives from April to September.

I don't know what I weigh, but I know how I feel. Sluggish. Achy. Tired. I miss that joy that I found in pursuing my health and fitness goals. I don't like how I feel.

I informed the husband that I was going to start recording again tomorrow. Again. The thing is, I know that I can do it again. It is going to take work, but I know what my body can do when I feed it healthy foods and exercise. This isn't a "New Year, New Me" post. It's a "Getting back to Me" post.

The exciting part for me is that I am going into this next phase of my fitness life with so much more knowledge than I had the first time. I know that I don't want to be the girl that eats 1200 calories a day and exercises 6 day a week. I know that I don't want to be the girl that weighs herself every single day (sometimes more than once a day). I know that I don't want my life to revolve around losing weight.

What I do know is that I don't like how I feel and I know that I can feel amazing in my own skin once again.

I'll be starting oh-so-slow. Tomorrow morning I will weigh in so that I know about how many calories I need to get back to my 2ish pounds a week weight loss. Then, I'm meeting a friend at the Y for a weigh lifting session.

My goals for the next 4-weeks:
- Record daily (as best as possible) and meet my calorie goal 4 out of 7 days each week
- 3 workouts per week that last at least 30 minutes
- Weigh in once a week. That's it. No more. I refuse to allow the scale to control my life. Again. I've walked that road. It's not pretty.
- Blog weekly with a check-in on how I'm doing with my goals. I debated returning to blogging, but I know that it is a great tool for me to process and hold myself accountable.

Here we go again,


  1. Sounds like it's been a tough year. I sympathize with your struggles. Glad to see you back. I've been a lurker; it helps to read others struggles and successes; it helps to write. I hope that you will continue to blog in the new year! Good luck!!

  2. So glad to hear your son is in remission

  3. Great post. Thanks for sharing this post.


About Me

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On June 19, 2009 I started my weight loss journey. It has become quite the journey! As of today (2-1-11) I have lost 162 pounds and have gained a whole new life. This blog is a continuation of my journey. I hope to inspire and encourage others through my process.