Thursday, October 23, 2014

5 AM

5 AM is my new normal. I go to bed between 9 and 10 and am up at 5 every.single.morning. Yep, even weekends.

Why 5 AM?

The husband goes to work anywhere from 6:40-7:00-not at all. His job is on a day by day basis and I never know when/if he'll need to leave.

My work requires many evening activities that make it hard to plan for after school stuff.

5 AM is the time where I know I can work out, watch a TV show, or just be still. Everyone is still sleeping. The world stops for a few hours.


I woke up at 5 today and the plan was to run 4 miles. I just couldn't do it. Not today. Instead I watched an episode of Criminal Minds (a super gross one with bugs- yuck!), drank an extra cup of coffee, and read some blogs.

This has been a yucky week of emotionally charged why-can't-I-stop-crying and feeling so inadequate sort of week. A week where I just want to get together with some friends, watch chick flicks, and just be. I need more 5 AM's in my life.

Skipped my run this morning. I'll run tonight...not because I have to, because I WANT to.
I just didn't WANT to this morning. I'm learning, slowly, to name what it is that I need and make that happen. There is so much power in being honest with yourself and others about what you need. It's odd that naming what we need can feel so selfish and, yet, we insist that those we love speak up about what they are needing.

It's 7 AM are up. They want to eat. Work is waiting for me. Lunches need to be made. Did we do homework last night? Did Bug's clothes get put in the dryer last night?
Life will go-go-go for the next 13 hours.
I will run after work. It's what I want to do. :)


About Me

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On June 19, 2009 I started my weight loss journey. It has become quite the journey! As of today (2-1-11) I have lost 162 pounds and have gained a whole new life. This blog is a continuation of my journey. I hope to inspire and encourage others through my process.