Four months ago I got a new job. Not really a new job. Same job, new building. Due to the nature of my work, a new building really does equal a new job since my work is all about the people and each individual requires something special.
I'm not complaining. I love my work. I love the challenge. In my new building I have found a renewed spark that I had lost before. Guess what else I found?! I found 25 pounds. Yep, you read that right. In 4 months I gained 25 pounds. WHAT?! I track my weight on My Fitness Pal and was looking at my weight graph yesterday when I realized this astonishing trend.
I gained weight because I'm unhappy. Right? Nope! Totally wrong. I'm love my job, my staff, the students, everything (uh, almost everything) about my new place!
I'm an emotional eater. I totally own that. What I've never owned, or realized, until yesterday that it's not just that I eat when I'm sad. I also eat when I'm happy or content. My "laziness" in my eating wasn't really lazy, but more of a relaxed, whew, I can breathe sort of eating. I overate out of contentment. I know that sounds odd, but it's true.
Another reason for my gain was that I no longer had people "watching" what I was eating. In my old job, I was surrounded with people that had seen me go from 356 pounds to 193. They knew my struggle. They knew what/how/when I ate. They knew it ALL! I'm now in a place where no one is watching. Kari had 2 donuts, no big deal. Just because no one is watching doesn't mean that the calories don't count or don't effect how I feel. The games we play in our minds!
(Totally not telling my new staff to watch me eat all the time. I love not being asked, "Can you eat that?". The answer is Yes, yes I can. Should I? Maybe not.)
I'm back. I've recorded for the past 6 days. I feel healthy and strong. My mind is once again focused on the prize- health and strength. I'm working on a plan for how to attack being back at work and eating healthy (food prep is the key!). I probably won't lose these 25 pounds in just 4 months, but they will come off. I've faced my biggest fear- I gained a significant amount a weight. I will lose it again. The best part of this is that I've learned a little more about myself and how I adjust to a change in environment and how I celebrate with food.
All good stuff!
Change is growth!
A work in progress,
Kari