Facing Fears

I weighed myself today for the first time in months. 
The world didn't end. 
I didn't even cry. 
I laughed.
I didn't laugh at the number. I laughed at the fear that that stupid number has had over me for way too long. 

Here's my reality- I've gained 62 pounds from my lightest weight.

Since being at my lightest weight, I've also-
- Completed a 2nd half marathon
- Completed 2 sprint triathlons
- Inspired others in their own weight loss success stories
- Modeled an active lifestyle for my children
- Prioritized fitness to the point that I now get up at 5 AM so that I am sure to fit in my activity

When I lost my weight, I promised myself that I wouldn't be THAT GIRL that gained it all back. I haven't gained it all back, but am well on my way. 
Timehop has been all up in my weight loss business lately. 3 years ago was when I was at my lowest weight and those pictures/status updates have been popping up daily on my phone. I'm actually healthier (in some ways) today that I was in those pictures. I no longer live on diet coke and cheese sticks. My hair isn't falling out. My nails are strong. 

I need to lose some weight. I'm not buying new pants and I am training for a freaking Olympic Triathlon (in 197 days!!!). I've got work to do. 

I'm not sure where my body will "settle" in terms of the scale. At 2 pounds a week, I could feasibly be 56 pounds lighter for the race. WOW! What a difference that would make. I know that my body does not always work in a 2-pounds a week guaranteed. Even if I only lost a pound a week, I'd still be 30 pounds lighter by the race. That would still be very significant. Imagine swimming a mile, biking 26 miles, and running 6 miles with 30 pound weights tied to your ankles. 

I recorded yesterday. Yep, Christmas day. :) Are you on My Fitness Pal? Add me as a friend- weighting_place. 

On a high note- I am still 101.4 pounds lighter than I was 5 years ago. BAM!
The scales is not the end all. If I was eating healthy and a moderate amount of calories and the scale didn't move, that would be a different conversation. The reality is that I haven't been. My body easily gains weight. That's my reality. I'm owning that and moving forward. 

I didn't cry today when I weighed myself. That is HUGE growth from 5 years ago. The scale doesn't scare me. 

Rest day on the docket. The kids and I are headed to the gym to go swimming (really just bobbing under water over and over again to say "hi" to each other). I'm hoping to sneak in to the sauna for a few minutes while they play.

Oh, and I already recorded my breakfast. 

~Kari