The past few weeks have been difficult. They weren't difficult because of the food choices, the stress, or even the lack of motivation. They have been difficult because of how poorly I have felt about my own self worth.
I gave up.
I started calling myself fat.
It was easier to "accept" my ultimate fate of obesity than to dig deep and persevere through Christmas.
My workouts have been spot on, but we all know that you can't outrun a poor diet. (Diet= how I eat, not a pill or magic weight loss soup)
Here is my post Christmas announcement- My pity party has officially ended. If you already received your invitation, please disregard. I have dug myself into a pretty significant weight gain. The world hasn't ended. I am not the person that I was when I gained all that weight. I am not sentenced to the life I once knew. Food does not control me. Just because I have gained some weight does not mean that I have to continue to gain. It also does not mean that I can't lose the little (little in the grand scheme of things) that I've gained.
Did you notice my lack of numbers when talking about my weight. The scale could totally tell me how much I've gained, but I don't need that right now. It would not help me in any way to know that I've gained 20 (or 25 or 30....) pounds from my lowest weight.
I'm slowly learning that it's not as much about the number on the scale as it is about how I feel when I am in control and putting healthy foods in my body. I am convinced that much of my body image pity party was due to not feeling good because of how much crap I was eating.
I feel better when I eat better.
It's December 26th. I am going to fuel my body today with amazing foods. This isn't a resolution. It's not for a month. It's not a challenge on Facebook. This is my life.
I had a renewed energy when I woke up this morning. I got this. We got this!
How was your Christmas?