I could be angry.....

but I'm not!

Current weight: 210.6 
Maintenance weight: 193

I lost a 1/10 of a pound. A freaking tenth! Nothing in the world to write home about. Guess what? I didn't gain. For week, and weeks, and weeks I've gained. This week I didn't gain. I survived Thanksgiving AND a night our for pizza and didn't gain. 

Some exciting things are happening with my body and I kind of like it. I have been lifting weights for around a month again and am starting to notice results. I am getting that bump back at the top of my shoulder that I LOVE. I tried a new routine tonight and wasn't scared to go for the big weights, even though it meant that I was totally burnt out at 5 instead of the 10 reps that the program suggested. 

Hubby and I both bought fitness gifts for each other for Christmas. He got a new bike. He even rode it home from the shop. I was SO proud of him. It was a hilly ride and he hadn't been on a bike in 20+ years. What did I get? A brand spankin new treadmill. It has a fan, a place to plug in my ipod, and has a super steep incline when I really want to work these legs. Last night I was able to go for a test run and I loved it. Afterwards Sissy even got on and went for a walk. 

Recording went ok this week. I recorded 5 out of 7 days. I want to be in a place where I no longer need to record. I'm just not there....yet. That day will come and you'll be the first to know about it.

There you have it! I recorded more days than not, I met my exercise goals for the week, and yet I only lost a 1/10th of a pound. My body is changing. My life if changing. My fitness level is changing.Exciting things are on my horizon.

I could be angry, but I'm not. :)

~Kari

Wednesday Weigh-in

Maintenance weight: 192
Current Weight: 210.7


There, I said it. I put it out there. I have gained 18 pounds and the world didn't end. It's funny, I use to hate that 192 because I just couldn't bust through it. Now I long for that number. I'll get back there! I have the tools. It's will be ok.

At this point I am looking more at lessons learned, than regrets:

~ During my 1/2 marathon training I could eat anything and not gain wait. Duh! I was burning close to 4,000 calories a week and my over used muscles were always looking for fuel. I can't eat anything and not gain weight if I am not doing the work to use up that fuel. Big shock, I know.

~ I need to ask for help when I am spiraling. I lashed out at hubby several times for stupid things. The real issue was that my clothes didn't fit and I was frustrated. Eventually we did have a good talk about how he had stopped buying fruits and veggies at the store and that I just didn't have time to do extra shopping. He solved the problem. I had to be honest about the issue. 

~ Exercise is harder with an extra 18 pounds. My runs have really suffered. I don't like that. 

Back to doing what I know to do....record...exercise...drink water ... rest ... repeat. :)

~Kari

How are you?

Do you follow Dawn? You should! She's amazing. Her weight loss is amazing, but more than that is her desire to see others be successful. I haven't blogged in a while and she emailed to check on me. My answer is below. She encouraged me to blog it out, but the words fail me when I sit down to blog....

I'm doing horribly. How are you? :) 

Ok, so not horribly, but I am gaining weight at a horrible rate. I am close to 20 pounds over my 1/2 marathon weight and I hate it. As much as I hate it, I can't seem to stop. I KNOW (!!!!!!!) what to do, but just can't seem to bring myself to do it. I guess that that's why I haven't been blogging. No one wants to read all about how poor Kari can't seem to get it together. Ugh! 

My workouts were horrible for weeks. Just this week I was able to get those back into check. I have gone back to lifting 3X a week. I love feeling strong. The other 3 days are some sort of cardio. This week I took an extra rest day (Today) just because it felt good. Working out is easy. I like how I feel when I get all sweaty and my HR monitor tells me that I've done enough. Food is, and probably always will be, the issue. I feel better when I eat better, but when I see those amazing sweets that seem to be everywhere lately I can't seem to remember how much better eating healthy feels. 

How am I? I'm stuck and can't pull it together. I feel alone. I feel like I've failed. I am scared that tomorrow I will wake up and be 356 pounds again. That terrifies me. I know that if I went back to recording that my body would respond quickly and that I could be back to "normal" in 8-10 weeks, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I'm tired or recording. I'm tired of not being able to eat like other people. I'm tired of food always being so hard. 

It felt so good to just get it out there. To tell someone, anyone, that I was not in a good place. I don't know my weight today. I plan on going back to Wednesday Weigh-ins. Wednesday seemed to be the best day in the past. I recorded yesterday on My Fitness Pal. It felt good to record. I passed up cookies (TWICE) yesterday. Today, I feel better. Being honest with someone really did help. 

So, that's where I'm at. I'm struggling, but I can recover. 

~Kari

A blast from the past

When I first started blogging, I blogged over at SparkPeople. I LOVE LOVE LOVE SparkPeople. If it was easier to blog over there I'd still be doing it. Someone asked me today about how I first started losing weight. (My favorite topic BTW!).

I started looking through my initial blogs. I teared up reading about how excited I was that I had bought a size 18 dress. I marvel at my 100 pounds lost pictures. I had no idea how much further I was going to go.

Here's a post that really helps to explain how I got started....

~Kari

Wednesday, October 13, 2010 Last week someone asked me how I ever got "THAT big". Now, there is probably a nicer way to ask that question, but it is a fair question that I am going to attempt to answer. The teacher in me wants to make a T-chart, but I am going to have to settle for a Then: and Now: format. At my heaviest I was (big gulp) 356 pounds. I am now around 218 and steadily moving down to my goal of no longer obese, but rather being overweight at 208. :) Ok, here is how I got to be "THAT big": Then: When I would go grocery shopping I would always buy a candy bar (or 2) in the checkout line to eat before I got home. Now: If I am really that hungry that I can't wait or I am not going home right away I'll pick up a piece of fruit or container of yogurt while shopping. Then: I'd drink 2-3 cans of coke a day and a white chocolate mocha. (That's a pound a week by the way....) Now: I do have a diet pop a day (still working on this one), but have limited all of my drinks to low cal or no cal. I have fallen in love with a Grande Skinny Carmel latte (saving 250 calories a drink!) Then: I payed no attention to portion sizes or nutritional needs. Now: I eat within my healthy range almost every day and try really hard to balance my fiber, protein, carbs, etc. Then: Exercise was a 4 letter word. If I did go to the gym my effort was minimal as I didn't think I could do what everyone else was doing. Now: I exercise 5 or 6 days a week. I have become a RUNNER! Go figure! Then: When I was sad, bored, or happy I'd eat. Now: Food is fuel. I work hard to check my emotions when I am "hungry" and make sure I am eating because I am really hungry. Then: I tried to hide my weight loss struggles or pass them off as a non-issue. Now: I am honest and open about my health. I talk all the time about my success and struggles. I have found that EVERYONE (even the skinny people!) struggles and want to support me in my efforts. Then: Everyone and everything else was more important than my own health and wellness. Now: Because everyone is so important to me I must make the time each day to take care of my body through proper nutrition and exercise. Whew! That's a pretty good summary of how I got to be "THAT big". I am sharing this list to answer that question. It is also to a reminder to myself about the unhealthy habits that caused me to be "THAT big".