My kids don't remember their fat mommy. They don't remember the mommy that wouldn't go for bike rides because she was tired. Or the one that allowed them to eat fast food 3-4 nights a week. Not even the one that couldn't fit into the rides at the amusement park.
A few things happened yesterday to help remind me of how very far I've come.....
On a bike ride...
Me: Why do you keep stopping at every block?
Sissy: I'm tired and need to rest.
Me: It's only a block. Let's try and do two blocks without stopping.
Sissy: It's easy for you. You ran a marathon. (It's was only a half....)
Me: Honey, I didn't start out running 1/2 marathons. I started out running a block and then two blocks.
Sissy: (obnoxious eye roll that I HATE) Fine. I'll go two blocks and then rest.
Well, she went 5 blocks and the rested. She was so proud of herself and so was I! We had a great talk about setting goals. She doesn't remember where I started! I'm just her mommy that runs marathons.
At the amusement park.....
Bug: Mommy go on this train with me. (Train= super small ride the parents can only go in one larger section, not meant for adults at all!)
Me: Mommy is too big. You go and I'll watch.
Bug: BUT His mommy is going.
I had taken Bug on that same ride 3 years ago. I didn't fit. The seat belt didn't fit. The ride attendant took pity on me and looked the other way. Bug was too young to know what was happening. Last night I fit. The seat belt fit. Was I too big for that ride? Yep! BUT "his mommy" was going and so was I. He doesn't remember where I started! I'm just his mommy that goes on any ride she wants.
I've gained some weight and that has been hard. My kids don't remember where I started, but I think it's really good for me to remember. The worlds that are open to me know at 206 pounds (back on my way down to 193) are not the same worlds that I could access at 356 pounds. It's good for me to remember. It's good that they don't remember!