Sunday, April 1, 2012

No-good, Very Bad Days

The past few days have been a serious of what Alexander would call, "Horrible, Terrible, No-good, Very Bad" days. Some really good stuff has been overshadowed by the sorrow, the frustrations, the pain.

On Thursday my cousins and their families came over for a visit. (Good stuff!) One of my cousins is visiting from Texas and it was so wonderful to see her and her kiddos. There were 16 people in my tiny house and 8 of them were young kids. I felt amazingly blessed to have so much love in my life. We had pizza and salad. It was delish and I only had one piece. Thursday night, we learned that the alternator of my husbands car was going out. My brother and him ended up staying up until 12:30 to put in the alternator. I was there for moral support. When we were sooo close to being done someone dropped the final bolt and the project was on hold.

Thursday during the day I had a really stiff neck, but it was manageable. After a short nights sleep, I woke up Friday morning with tremendous pain in my neck and shoulder blade. It was extremely painful to turn my head from one side to another. I drove myself to work with an ice pack on my neck. Work was hard Friday morning because I was in so much pain. I probably should have gone to the chiropractor, but had just been on Monday and didn't want to go again so soon. After lunch on Friday, I received a call from my husband that his mother had suddenly passed away. She was such a kind mother-in-law. I would often hear people complain about their in-laws and have always been thankful for the kindness that she has shown to me. I joke with people that I am pretty sure she liked me more than my husband. :)  I rushed home so that he could go and be with his dad.

By Friday evening, I was in intense neck and shoulder pain, but it was after business hours and too late to do anything. Hubby's car was still out of commission and I was stuck. Friday night didn't bring much sleep because I was up and down all night with pain in my neck and shoulder. Saturday morning brought no relief. I called the massage therapist and they had an opening at 10:30. My massage appointment was...interesting. She does this thing called "cupping". Have you heard of cupping? I'll post more about this process in a few days. (Yep, I took pictures so you could see!) The massage helped, but I was still in pain.

Saturday afternoon, we went with the same group from Thursday night to Chuck E Cheese. I was tired, sore, and mourning. Chuck E Cheese really isn't the place to be when you are all those things, but I loved being with family and getting to see my kiddos with their cousins. The pain is so intense that I haven't been able to work out since Wednesday!

It's Sunday now. I am still in pain, but it's getting better and I was even able to get a nap and a walk in this afternoon. I picked up some Icy Hot at the store tonight and that seems to be helping. We are still missing a bolt, but the dealer said that it will be in on Tuesday. My mother-in-law's passing is, of course, hitting everyone hard. I mourn for her and it has really brought up a lot of feelings that I had about my dad's death that I had pushed pretty deep down. Tomorrow (Monday), I will give my chiro a call if the pain is not better. We are planning on taking the kids to the zoo and I need to be able to actually look at the animals.

What's the good? 
I am healthy! I am strong (inside and out)! I am deeply loved! I faced the pressures of the past few days with a confidence that I've never had before. I didn't run to a McD's drive through cause I was sad. I didn't have a coke because I was suffering loss. I didn't buy a Cadbury egg (or 6) because we lost a bolt. I couldn't do intense exercise today, but I could walk, so I walked. It's exciting to know that the changes that I have made aren't a diet or a phase, but have really become who I am. Call, e-mail, text, write a letter to someone tonight and tell them you love them. You truly do not know if this will be the last chance you have to talk with them.


About Me

My photo
On June 19, 2009 I started my weight loss journey. It has become quite the journey! As of today (2-1-11) I have lost 162 pounds and have gained a whole new life. This blog is a continuation of my journey. I hope to inspire and encourage others through my process.