Friday, January 10, 2014

What my body needs....


I threw away my "fat" clothes because I was never again going to be that size.

I tried on 4 pairs of pants this morning.

Not a single pair went over my hips.

I did what any logical person would do. I crawled back into bed and sulked.

The ever supportive husband asked how he could help.

He can't.

He already does.

He has always been my #1 cheerleader.

Over the past few weeks I've "recommitted" several times to recording. Recording works for me. My sticking-to-it has not been working lately.

1200 calories a day keeps the weight off, but makes me someone that I don’t want to be.

Total abandonment causes me to gain an unhealthy amount of weight and means that I will soon have to be going to work naked.

1800-2000 calories a day is what my body needs.

Why, why, why can I record and commit at 1200 calories, but not at 1800?

I did eventually crawl out from under the covers, put on a stretchy skirt and headed to work.

I need some accountability.

I need someone to ask me how my recording is going.

I need help, but I’m not really sure what the help looks like.

This post probably makes no sense, and that’s ok.

~Kari






2 comments:

  1. Hi Kari. I totally understand the mental struggle. I don't know why the commitment is so hard at "x" but not at "y". it's odd. it's our mind playing games with us. I have been logging in every day now on MFP, ok, only for 10 days or something like that have I been logging all my food but it's my start, and I'm going to continue and recommit every day. I would love to be one of your cheerleaders. I need support too. That's what we are here for!

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  2. I threw away my fat clothes too (after an 81 pound loss) and then got pregnant! yikes. But I KNOW you can get back in your jeans. I've read your more recents posts--you are doing well!

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On June 19, 2009 I started my weight loss journey. It has become quite the journey! As of today (2-1-11) I have lost 162 pounds and have gained a whole new life. This blog is a continuation of my journey. I hope to inspire and encourage others through my process.