I have been feeling great about my progress over the past few days. In the next month (hopefully less) I will no longer be considered "obese" using my handy BMI calculator. I have fallen in love with shopping for smaller clothing and my body is now capable of things I never thought possible. Here's the rub....
Last night was Halloween and I had a TOUGH time. We went to a Halloween activity at church and had a blast. When we went inside to play games there were cupcakes everywhere. They were beautifully displayed and smelled amazing. I had a glass of water and tried to ignore the cupcakes, but it was so hard. When we were leaving church I was a little bit cranky that I *couldn't* have a cupcake. I know, I know...I could have had one! Here's the problem- I know that if I have had one cupcake I would have spent the rest of the night eating, eating, eating.
When we got home we ate dinner and go ready to go out Trick or Treating. Hubby was staying home to pass out candy. I opened the bag of candy to put in the bowl for the Trick or Treaters and it smelled amazing. I wanted candy! I was strong and one had one piece, but really wanted more. Then I started to have those thoughts...
Why does everyone else get to eat candy and I don't?
I'm mad that I can't eat whatever I want.
This shouldn't be so hard.
As I am writing down what I was thinking/feeling I have realized what a baby I was being. It's not that everyone else can do it. For MOST of us there are consequences to what we eat. Life isn't fair- I am not going to get everything that I want in life. That's not how it works. Of course this is going to be hard- change is hard! I look forward to the day when my mood is not determined by what I choose to eat or not eat. For now? I'm going to stick to my guns, make healthy choices, and wait for some pie at Thanksgiving. :)