Picture this: I'm so tired. It's cold. The kids are screaming and telling me to stay home. I'm so tired. It's getting dark. I'm so tired. Sitting at the dining room table, slumped over, I'm so tired.
Super husband comes home from his walk. "Are you going on your run". Me: "I'm so tired" Super Husband: "You'll feel better after some exercise" Me: "I'm so tired" Super Husband: "I'll help you up"
He takes my hand and helps me up. I drag my butt to my room, change into my exercise clothes and head out for my run. At this point it's colder, darker, and I swear I am even more tired.
No big surprise- less than a 1/4 mile in and I was feeling better. I walked more than ran, but actually had a little bit faster pace than runs earlier in the week. It started to rain midway though my run. It didn't matter. My heart was pumping, I was alive, I was waking up!
Ready for my big revelation??? All of the healthy choices that we make for our lives start by someone helping us up. Sometimes we even have to help ourselves up. It's that moment time and time again that you decide that you want to be different. That you want to feel good. I am blessed to have many friends and family that help me up when it gets oh-so-hard and I am oh-so-tired. How about you? Who helps you up? I worry that some people reading this may feel like they have no one to help them up. Call me! Text me! E-mail me! I will come and help you up.
***The details have been changed to protect the innocent.... and the guilty ;)
*This week I went to an *underwater basket weaving class. I've been to this type of class many times before. I actually was pretty good at it when a different teacher was teaching *underwater basket weaving. I have had other teachers and have still been pretty good. Tonight there was a new instructor. She made comments like, *"If you've never swim before, just keep walking back and forth. We'll meet you back in the shallow end". Usually my underwater basket weaving teachers break the strokes down in a way that even a brand new swimmer will be designing award winning basket by the end of the class. This class was different. The rule was (at least it seemed to me...)- If you don't know how to swim, you really shouldn't be in this pool. 30 minutes into class I had reached a level of frustration that I have never before experienced in this class any class. I had two choices- leave and cry or leave and do something else. I am proud to say that I chose the latter. I hopped out of the pool, got on the elliptical for 10 minutes, ran laps around the gym for 10 minutes, did stairs for 5 minutes and then cooled down. Workout complete!
I feel great about the choice that I made to complete my 60 minutes of cardio. I feel super frustrated with myself that I gave up. I tried to stick it out. I tried to follow along. I tried to weave my basket. It just wasn't happening. It will be a loooonnnnggg time before I return to that class. I'm inclined to think that maybe I'm not meant to weave baskets, but I've done it before. What about you? Is there a class or an exercise that you've tried that you've just really hated???
The scale continues to go up. :( I know what to do. I know to record my food. I know to drink more water. I know the exercise. Considering my week, the exercise part has actually been OK.
I'm struggling with trying to figure out why I'm not doing what I know to do. There really is no excuse. Yes, life is busy, but that doesn't mean that I need a large bowl of ice cream for dessert. Yes, this is a stressful time of the year, but that doesn't mean that I need to drink soda instead of water. My food scale isn't broken and yet I haven't used it in weeks to measure out portion sizes. I've actually become pretty good at serving sizes, but struggle when it comes to salty foods (crackers, popcorn, etc). I've been on this journey long enough to know that when I am not giving my body the proper nutrition that there is almost always an emotional cause behind my overeating.
I have the power to choose what I put in my body. There is nothing preventing me from making healthy choices today. The best part of this journey is that we get a fresh start every single day. Today is a new day and I'm going to start it out by filling up my water bottle.
Bleh! What a long week!!! The good news is that I was able to get in workouts on all but one day this week. My workouts weren't great since I was unable to attend my normal classes and had to cut my swim short because I was super short on time. My weight is staying the same. up a few pounds. My responsibilities at work have change and it has me wound a bit tighter than normal. The scale has been between 194 and 197 on any given morning. The scale has been up or down the same 3 pounds all week. I've that weight fluctuations this extreme have to do with fluid retention.
I almost titled this blog, "Hello? Is anyone out there?" I've been debating about continuing to post on this blog. I often feel like I am talking to myself. I started to think about why I started this blog. When I was losing weight at a pretty steady pace people would often ask me about my journey and any encouragement that I might have. Losing weight can be a very lonely road. So, if anyone is listening, I want you to know this.... It's not always easy, there will be days (weeks, months, years?!) where you don't lose. Sometimes it will be hard to fit in even a 20 minute workout. This morning I woke up way too early to work out because there was a movie night at my daughters school (when I would be working out). My very sleep child came out to ask me why I was up so early. She looked at my clothes and said, "Never mind, I know, you are taking care of your heart". That is why I keep on keeping on. I am teaching my children to live a healthy lifestyle. What motivates you to keep working towards your healthy living goals?
Are you on Facebook? Isn't everyone on Facebook?!?! I spend way too much time on Facebook. :(
My last post was about the busy week that I have ahead. As I thought about my week, I started to get more and more upset. Missing workouts. Dirty dishes. Baskets of clothes to be put away. There is so much to do! There are so many things to do and, yet, here I sit on the couch. I can spend HOURS reading blogs, checking Facebook, responding to e-mail, checking Facebook, taking care of my city on Facebook. Do you see the common trend? My laptop is permanently glued to my lap for a large portion of the day.
(I just checked Facebook while writing a blog about checking Facebook too often...)
I've made a decision. Don't panic, I'm not closing my facebook account! THAT would be crazy. I am going to spend an hour at night on my laptop (while watching TV, talking to my husband, and thinking about all of the chores that I should be doing) after I put the kids to bed and then turn it off. There is so much more to life than what's on the internet. In the meantime, I'd really appreciate it if you'd water my crops in Cityville. :)
Balancing life is very difficult! I work full time, work out 6 days a week, and am a Mom. Any of those three things could keep me busy all day long. :) This week is going to be especially busy at work. Hubby is working A LOT lately and that means that I have increased duties at home. I'm not complaining, just feeling a bit overwhelmed. My routine is "off" and that is stressing me out. My "normal" workout routine is impossible this week. Yep, I can get up early to work out....and it won't kill me. With the other busyness of the week ahead I hate the idea of having to go to bed so early.
Right now I am sitting on the couch trying to figure out Monday. I have a training after school. It's a training that I *want* to attend. If I attend that training, then that will mean that I can't workout after school. (Never mind the fact that they cancelled my FAVORITE Monday afternoon workout and I don't have a Monday workout plan as of this blog....) I know that I don't want to get up early tomorrow morning.
It's going to be a one-day-at-a-time kind of week. Tuesday looks good for a run. I could swim tomorrow morning.... Hmmm.... I have a cute new haircut that will require more maintenance than the traditional post-swim pony tail.
Why am I telling you all of this??? Sometimes people look at me and think that I've got it all together. That exercise is second nature for me. That I never struggle to get 'er done. There are weeks (like the one coming up) where the thought of fitting in exercise really does stress me out. I know that when I exercise that I feel better, am more productive, and am able to better balance my life. Knowing all of that does not make it any easier. Monday's decided- I am going to workout after dinner. That will probably mean playing Kinect Shape with the kiddos at my side, but at least I will get 'er done. :)
*DEEP BREATHS* Ok, I'm really going to do this. I am going to sign up for the Seattle Rock N Roll 1/2 marathon. I am terrified! Yep, I know that thousands of people run the race every year. When I was in high school my PE teacher had to walk to track with me just so that I could finish WALKING the mile that was required. Walking! I am now talking about running 13 miles. Is this me? Can I really do this?
I may be crazy. I have 8 months to train. I can do this! I have an amazing support system in place. I can do this! I am capable of anything that I set my mind to do. I can do this! It might be fun. I can do this.
I feel amazing and a lot of it has to do with my amazing new chiropractor. Here's a song for your listening enjoyment.... I have been amazing at the difference in how good I feel after just a few adjustments. This past week I had my atlas adjusted. Don't know what that is? I didn't until this week. It the bone that your skull sits on and it controls the alignment of your spine (including your brain stem). Mine was way out of whack, so much so that my left leg was 1/2 and inch shorter than my right! After a neck adjustment, my legs were now the same length. I don't know how it works, but it does. The adjustment was uncomfortable, but I had instant relief. I have been tight between my shoulders and shoulder blades for years and I woke up this morning (my adjustment was yesterday) and my muscles were actually pain free. I also need to add that I have had 0 sciatica pain since starting to see a chiropractor. Like I said, I don't know how it works, but it seems to be working. Here's a good Youtube video about how the atlas works:
I hate pantyhose. Pantyhose are a fat girls nightmare. I wore a super cute skirt the other day and froze to death because I own no hose. The up side was that my calves are HOT and looked amazing. :) I don't even understand pantyhose. I get them out of the package and there seems to be no front and no back. Then they run. You spend way to much money on a thin piece of fabric to cover your legs. Is there a brand of pantyhose that you love????
Credit for food not eaten... I think that we should get some sort of credit for the foods that we don't eat this time of year. Tonight at Bible study I only had one rice crispy treat instead of the dozen that I *could* have eaten. No one gave me a sticker for not eating a dozen treats. I suppose that my reward will come when the scale doesn't jump up a pound tomorrow morning for my over indulgences, but it seems like there should be some sort of tangible reward.
The world needs to sllloowww down. This year is going so quick. Many people mentioned today that they are feeling overwhelmed with the holidays approaching so quickly. I had a mini break down last night. I am feeling nervous about gaining weight, fitting in exercise, and still enjoying time with family and friends. What do you do to help organize your life during this super hectic season?
On June 19, 2009 I started my weight loss journey. It has become quite the journey! As of today (2-1-11) I have lost 162 pounds and have gained a whole new life. This blog is a continuation of my journey. I hope to inspire and encourage others through my process.
