When I was heavier I found myself continually trying to please everone. My decisions were based on popular opinion or the boy/friend that I was trying to win over. Rarely did my choices or priorities have anything to do with me. Hiding within an obese body in some way stripped away my ability to make decisions and determine what was most important to me. While dropping weight I have gained a confidence to stand up for myself and choose for me.
I was emailed a month or so ago about an amazing job opportunity. If people were to ask me my dream job, this would pretty much be it! I turned down the job. Say what?!?!?! I turned it down because it was a significant increase in my commute. Currently I live within 8 minutes of work, church, doctors, chiropractor and my gym (maybe even Target, but that might be 10 minutes). I love LIVING in the community where I live. I love seeing my students at the grocery store and baseball games. I love that I can leave work at 4:55 and be home for dinner by 5:10. This new job would be 20 minutes away, would require (a self imposed requirement) changing the kids' school district because I want to be on the same schedule as them, and it would make my current after school/work schedule very tricky. It boiled down to my job is not my life and all the stuff of my life (Kids- AWANA, school, sports; Me- gym, chiropractor/doctor, community interactions; Husband- maybe wanting to see us instead of talking to us in the car) would be ultra complicated for a new job.
I decided not to apply for the job. Right job, wrong time in my life. I felt like I was a shoe-in if I wanted it, but I didn't apply. Some said, "This is a once in a lifetime opportunity". My response, "If it is meant to be, then it will come up again". I chose to keep my life simple over taking a job that I think I would truly love.
Just to be clear, I didn't choose not to apply out of fear. There were moments when I was considering the job that I thought that I wasn't good enough, that I didn't have what it took, that the job was too big for me. I made the decision because it was best for me, for us.
Yesterday I got an email..... The job is going to reopen. Would I please reconsider applying? WHAT!!!!!!!!???????? My once in a lifetime opportunity has come back around....again.
Is it God opening the door again? It is just coincidence?
All of the reasons that I declined the job still exist.
It would be the coolest job in the world! I think...what if it wasn't?
I'm happy in my current position. We are getting a new principal and I believe in the direction she is taking our school.
Where is the line between taking BIG leaps and being practical and prioritizing things other than work?
Someone tell me what to do! :)
~Kari
