Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Just let me get fat!

Let's get the ugliness out of the way and then I have a story to share....

Restart weight (5/29)- 213.6
Today (6/19)- 210.4

3 weeks- 3.2 pounds

I'm up this week. :( The "good" news is that my weight bounced up 1 1/2 pounds since Monday. I'm going with fluid retention and PMS. I thought about lying about my weight and doing Monday's weight. I want to be honest with you and with myself. I gained this week, but I don't think I gained. I'm thinking about doing a debt diet. I've never done one, have you?

Now my story.....

Breakfast is a battle in our house. For the kids it usually ends up being waffles with butter and jam. This is quickly followed by I'm soooo hungry, especially from Sissy. We've  talked more times than I can count about having a balanced diet and how our bodies need different types of fuel. I offer her a yogurt. No. I offer her fruit. No. I offer her milk. No. 

She wants carbs, and more carbs.

Mommy, can I have a piece of candy. No.
Mommy, can I have some cereal. No.
Mommy, can I have a 3rd waffle. No.

Mommy, just let me eat what I want and get fat.

Let me get fat.

Thankfully I was in the kitchen when she said this so she did not see the devastation on my face. Let me get fat. Those words rocked me to my core. Let me get fat. It brings tears to my eyes to even type them. Let me get fat.

I have been so careful to not push her about her weight (she is on the top of the scale for her height/weight and borders on being overweight). I NEVER call myself fat. I talk about going to the gym to be healthy instead of skinny. 

Let me get fat. When I heard these words I immediately flashed forward to her being an obese teenager trying to make her way. I was that girl and it sucked!
Then I imagined her being a 29 year old woman trying to figure out how to be healthy. It sucks! 

I regained my composure and answered something like this,
"Baby girl, I am your mommy and as your mommy it is my job to teach you how to be healthy. I want you to learn at 8 how to make good choices. Mommy was fat growing up and it is hard. It is even harder to learn how to be healthy at 30 years old. I will not let you get fat. I will help you be healthy because I love you and want you to be around for a long, long time".

She ate some applesauce. 

Did I win? I won on the food choice, but I didn't really win. The battle has just begun. Now I know the food and body image demons in her head. The ones that haunt me. The ones that tell me to quit because the scale jumped up one morning and it happens to be a Wednesday. 

How do parents do it? 
How do you raise children with a healthy, balanced view of food? 

I'm open! Give me your best advice.


About Me

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On June 19, 2009 I started my weight loss journey. It has become quite the journey! As of today (2-1-11) I have lost 162 pounds and have gained a whole new life. This blog is a continuation of my journey. I hope to inspire and encourage others through my process.