I've written a lot lately (possibly too much) about how I've put on 15-20 pounds since reaching my why-didn't-I-realize-it -when-I-was-there maintenance weight of 193 pounds. Eating on vacation is hard and I find myself thinking, "Does it even matter? I've already gained so much weight." I hate that mentality. Being home for a few days and starting my clean dinners reminded me how good it feels to be making healthy choices, but when you aren't home it is so hard to plan meals. I find myself overeating because I don't know what/when the next meal will be and I don't want to starve. Now, at 210ish pounds I am no where near starving, but it feels that way at times.
I'm starting a DietBet on the 24th am actually a little excited! I hate the "diet" idea, but I am looking forward to working towards a goal. I don't know if my body will corporate, but at least I am going to try. I'll do my initial weigh-in on the 23rd after we get home from this trip. That weight won't be pretty.
My Dietbet plan? Eat healthy foods, stop drinking soda (yes, again), and commit to 64 ounces of water every single day.
I'm disappointed in my choices lately when it comes to food. I hate that I lack self-control. I want to have a healthy attitude about food. I LONG to be "normal" about eating. Confession- I ate a pack of Bug's M&M's while writing this post. Guess I'll be running by the store tomorrow. Days like today make me wonder if I'll ever reach that place where it is no longer so very hard. Will I? Have you? Is this just the way it will always be?
~Kari
