This year I won't....

Eat my emotions~ Today I was super excited to get a facial and a pedicure. I had the wrong appointment time and they couldn't fit me in when I showed up. I drove home super sad and with each fast food restaurant I passed I had to repeat "I will NOT eat my emotions". This year I will work hard to recognize and address my emotions rather than stuff them further inside with food.


Lose site of my goals~ I am so close to being at a healthy BMI! 23 pounds seems so daunting, but I know that it is totally doable. I've changed my SparkPeople goal to shoot for one pound a week weight loss instead of two. Yesterday it was really hard for me to eat in my new higher calorie range. I considered changing my goal back to 2 lbs a week since that is where I am comfortable, but instead I decided to view this 1 lb a week as a great transition into maintenance mode.

Expect more from myself than my own personal best~ This one is tough for me! I watch people at the gym and am in continual awe of what they are capable of. I watch people run on the road and think, "Oh, if only I could run like that". I've learned through this journey that everyone (well, almost everyone!) has something about themselves that they aren't happy about- big thighs, freckles, etc. I have come so far and need to spend my time focusing on how much I have grown as an athlete instead of focusing on what others are doing.

There it is- my New Year Resolutions! Last year I didn't do resolutions, but looking back now I can say that in 2010 I will (and did!!!):

- Run my first 5K
- Lose 109 pounds
- Increase my exercise from 3 to 6 days a week
- Drink at least 64 oz a water a day
- Make great new friends that have similar healthy living goals
- Go from a size 24 to a size 14
- Make my first blog post

Here's to another year of healthy living and watching my body change in new and amazing ways!!!!



Annual Check-up without the Parade

For weeks I've been looking forward to my annual check-up for the sheer reason that I wanted my doctor to ohhh and ahhh over my weight loss. My goal was to be under 200 for my check-up and am a bit bummed to report that I was at 201.6. BUT that was wearing a pair of jeans (size 14 BTW!!!) and I had just had a 16 oz latte before hand. I thought about stripping and demanding a re-weigh, but decided to just be ok with 201 and move forward. :)

Back to my pre-check-up excitement...Most people dread going to the doctor because they don't want to be lectured about those 10 pounds they found over the past year. I really expected my doctor to be happy with my weight loss, but actually ended up leaving feel disappointed by her lack of joy.  Here's the thing- last year my physical was on 12/10/09 and I weighed 310.6 (down 46 pounds from where I started) and today I weighed 201. That is 109 pounds in a year for those of you that are keeping track. Apparently my doctor is keeping track because no less than 10 times did she say, "100 pounds in a lot to lose in a year....". Hold the phone!!!! She told me what I started losing weight to lose 1 to 2 pounds a week and that is 1-2 pounds a week. I pointed that out and she said (again!), "100 pounds is a lot to lose in a year...". Can you sense my frustration?!?!

I did what I was told to do and there was no congratulation banner in the waiting room, no parade around the nurses station, no announcement over the intercom that I was patient of the year; just a near lecture on how I've lost a lot of weight quickly.  She was happy with my progress, but had concerns- How much more did I intend to lose? How much am I exercising? How many calories am I eating every day? Am I taking a multivitamin because "your body can't be getting all of the nutrients it needs on that few calories"? 

In case you were also wondering....

* I intend to lose another 23 pounds. That will put me at the top of my healthy weight range. Since I am exercising 5-6 days a week I am comfortable being at the weight. I do plan to slow down my weight loss and aim for one pound a week instead of two on Spark People.
* I am exercising 6 days a week and burning approximately 3400 calories a week based on my heart rate monitor.
* Not sure about the vitamins, but I do know that I eat a healthy amount of food and work hard to have fruits and vegetables with every meal. I'll start taking a multivitamin tonight. :)

Hubby just wants to know, "Are you healthy?" The answer to that is YES! I weigh less than I did in middle school, my heart rate was at a fabulous 64 beats per minute, my blood pressure was awesome and I feel fantastic. I'll keep waiting patiently for my parade.......

The New Normal

Tempting food causes me stress! A few days ago someone told me to "trust yourself" when it came to the food choices I was making. That statement has resonated with me over the past few days.

* I am afraid that if I eat one cookie that I'll eat the whole plate. My little voice chimed in, "Kari, you have the ability to choose how many cookies you eat. Trust yourself to stop when you should."
* I didn't want to throw out the extra piece of pie. "Kari, it's OK if there is no more pie- you can always get more. Trust yourself to be OK with getting rid of the leftovers".
* How many calories are in this stuffing?! "Kari, enjoy the stuffing. Tomorrow is a new day. Trust yourself to fit in an extra workout this week to balance out the yummy Christmas treats."

I was talking with my mom (while eating a piece of fudge) and mentioned that tomorrow morning I'd be hitting the gym and looking forward to eating light. Here's the best part- my new normal is that I make healthy choices (ALMOST all of the time) and that I exercise on a daily basis. I wasn't planning to exercise today and snuck in a run before heading to my mom's for Christmas dinner. I couldn't stand it and had to get out in the fresh air.

Tomorrow the cookies will be gone, Santa won't be back until next Christmas, and I will continue my healthy lifestyle~ exercise, tracking my food, and drinking my water. THAT is the new normal!

Merry Christmas to all and

to all a healthy New Year!!!!

I'm starting to see it!

This post was originally going to be called "ONEderland!!!!", but over the past few days something amazing has started to happen- I am actually starting to see my weight loss! People often tell me how different I look and up until now I haven't been able to see a difference. A few nights ago I was sending out Christmas pictures and thought, "Holy cow! I've really lost a lot of weight". 157 pounds later and I finally feel like my body is starting to change. This week I saw my weight loss in several ways:

- I can now fit into chairs with ease and no longer worry about not fitting.

- I am no longer the largest person at the gym. Actually, I'm not even close.

- My appetite has changed- it takes a lot less food to fill me up. My job has become listening to my body and giving it the fuel it needs.

I've set several goals throughout my weight loss journey: under 300, lose 100 pounds (256) no longer obese (208), and my most recent goal, under 200. I blogged a fewweeks ago about why I wanted to be under 200 pounds. This week I arrived at 198.4. Woo hoo!!! For some reason 198 seems SO much less than 200. :) I still have 20 pounds to go to be at the top of my healthy weight according to the BMI chart, but right now am super happy with my progress. I plan to check in with my doctor next week to see if she has a recommendation for a good goal weight for me. It scares me a little bit to be so close to my "healthy" weight. I've been on project weight loss for so long (18 months) that I am unsure about how to live not in project status. Maybe I will always be on project status- just with different goals?!?!

It doesn't count if you don't record it....

As most of you know I have been using Spark People to record my food and exercise on a daily basis. On special occasions (birthdays, dinners out, etc) I don't record - mostly because I can't. People find it strange when you arrive at their house with a food scale and want to know exactly which ingredients they put in the green bean casserole. :) 

I was talking with hubby today about whether or not I should record since his family were coming over for dinner tonight. We were cooking so I had complete control over the portions and ingredients. He pointed out that I should record so that I could "gorge" myself. He was being silly, but his comment got me thinking....

My success in losing weight has come from two things - limiting my caloric consumption to what my body needs and sweating like a pig at the gym nearly every day. Spark People is the tool (and an AMAZING tool - don't get my wrong) that I use to record what I eat, but really the success has been in the food choices that I have chosen to make. I've always thought that my success was because I am using Spark People, but realized today that the success comes in the choice - not in the recording.

Now about dinner - I did record and based on what I recorded did stay in my calorie range for the day. I struggled more today with what I didn't record. Every time I walked by the table I was grabbing a Triscuit, some hummus, or a piece of cheese. I intentionally didn't put out candies and dips, but still was grazing until dinner. We also didn't have dessert and everyone survived! I need to figure out a way to keep away from the appetizers this week. I know that every house we visit will have out some sort of yummy to snack on while we wait. Does anyone have any not-grazing strategies? I'd love to hear them!

Those darn two pounds

In the diet world there is this mystical land called "Onederland". You reach "Onederland" when your weight is in the 100's.  I've been hovering around "Onederland" for the past month. For the past two weeks I have been within two pounds. I've written before about my frustration when the scale doesn't move. I know that weight is a fluid number, but I REALLY want to visit "Onederland"- even if it's just for a day. It's like when everyone is talking about this great new movie coming out. You weren't really interested in the show, but as it gets closer to opening night the more you want to see the movie. I never thought that I would ever be this close to below 200 pounds and therefor I never focused on that number. Here I am- 2 pounds away and now I really want to be there.

I went to an awesome class tonight at the gym (my instructor is AMAZING!!!) and started to ponder these two pounds. It was a lot easier to lose weight when I still had 179 pounds to lose to get to a healthy weight. Duh! Of course it's going to be easier to lose 2 pounds when you have so much to lose.  Here's my math:
-179 pounds to lose (when I started)- when I lose 2 pounds that is less than 1% of my total goal
-25 pounds to lose (as of tonight)- when I lose 2 pounds that is 8% of my total goal

When I was pregnant with my daughter I had a week in the last trimester when I gained 4 pounds (!!!!) in a week. I called my dad and had a mini break down because I had gained so much weight that week. He pointed out that he could "crap 4 pounds" in a day. :) I love my dad! The next week my doctor was "concerned" because I hadn't gained any weight that week- until I reminded her of the four pounds from the week before.

Hubby also pointed out that in the last 16 months I have "gained" two pounds and have lost 154 pounds. Not too shabby at all. I'll get to "Onederland" and I'll get to my healthy weight goal of 177 pounds. I find that I am burning few calories during my cardio sessions as I continue to lose weight and build strength. Over Christmas vacation I am going to work on developing a plan that includes strength training. My next post will, hopefully, come when I have entered "Onederland".

Gym Ramblings

With the cooler temps and rain (I am in Washington State after all!) I have moved most of my workouts to the gym. It can get really boring on the treadmill, but there is also people watching to keep me entertained. Earlier this week I was running in the second row of treadmills and became intently focused on this lady that was walking (very slowly!) in front of me. She was a large lady. Probably even larger than I was in my heavier days, but there she was walking on the treadmill. I was bursting with pride for her and didn't even know her name. I spent the next 20 minutes of my run watching her step by step finish her exercise.

The whole time I was running I considered going up to her and telling her how proud I was of her. See, I know how hard it is to go to the gym when you know that you will be the biggest person there. I know how you talk yourself out of going a hundred times before you even enter the building. How you consider sitting in the steam room to "clear out your pours" instead of getting your bootie on the treadmill, bike, or elliptical. I thought about her legs and how they probably chafe from the skin rubbing together. Please don't think that I am judging this woman. I WAS this woman. I know her pain. I know the embarrassment when the machine stops working because you are too heavy. I know how hard she has to fight to stay on that machine. I know what it's like to spend your whole workout comparing yourself to the faster, fitter, younger athletes around you. I never did go up to her for fear that she would be offended by my encouragement, but I was silently cheering for her until she finished. I smiled at her as she was leaving. I hope to see her again and maybe strike up a conversation.

Today I was back at the gym for my Sunday run and ran into one of the instructors as I was taking my son to the daycare area. I smiled and said hi. She then told me that her Survivor class would be starting in a few minutes and that I was welcome to join them. Here is the description for her class: "If fancy choreography isn't your thing but you want to burn calories and tone up at the same time, this class has your name written all over it. Easy-to-follow interval training segments are combined with muscle-specific sculpting exercises for a workout that really works." Sound harmless~ right? I decided to give the class a try. Harmless, no...a great calories burning workout- yes!!!! She had a big circle set-up with different exercises at each bench. We'd do one exercise for a minute and then rotate around the circle. It was tough and I am going to be sore tomorrow, but I LOVED every minute of the sweat and labored breathing. :)

I am a new person. I am a healthy person. I use to avoid the trainers eyes because I didn't want them to tell me I was doing something wrong or comment on how far I had to go in my journey to becoming healthy. Today was a success! I tried a new class, had an awesome workout without the fear of being judged or failing, and met me cardio goal for the day. Woot! Woot!

Truth in Lending

When you get a loan from the bank you always get a Truth in Lending statement that shows what you will really be paying when your loan is paid in full. For example, my loan for my house might be for $100,000, but when I pay the loan off I will have paid $250,000. It also talks about all the penalties and fees involved in your loan.Today was a Truth in Lending day in my weight loss journey!

It started last night- I started to question if I could really do this (healthy eating, exercise, lose/maintain weight loss) for the REST of my life. The rest of my life should be a looooong time. It's hard work to live a healthy lifestyle and it doesn't seem to be getting any easier. I enjoy working out and I even enjoy how good I feel after eating a healthy meal. Thanksgiving was gross- I hated feeling so full. This is still hard and it is constantly at the forefront of all I do. My muscles hurt all the time (not a bad hurt, more of a "yep, I'm still here" kind of feeling) and I am always thinking about how my food choices will fit into my overall caloric needs. This all seems overwhelming and the price seems so high! I remember when I was signing my mortgage paperwork- overwhelmed and terrified!

These feelings continued during the night and were waiting for me when I woke up this morning. I feel blah today. My excess skin seems extra saggy. I haven't lost for 2 weeks and I'm getting frustrated. My hair was droopy today. I feel fat today. I didn't have any oomph at the gym and I really wanted pizza for dinner.

We did order pizza and guess what? I felt better after the pizza. There is this thing called intuitive eating that encourages people to "listen" to their body and eat what their body is craving. The thought of intuitive eating scares me to death! I live by my food diary and heart rate monitor. I can't imagine eating what my body tells me to eat. Tonight I ate one piece of pizza (yes, really only one!) with a side salad and I felt a lot better. I am going to take tomorrow off from the gym and give my body a break. So, here's my Truth in Lending for the day- It is hard. There are days when I get discouraged. Sometimes a piece of pizza will make you feel better. There may be weeks when the scale doesn't move. NEVERTHELESS, in the end you will get a healthy body that allows you to play with your kids, shop in regular clothing stores, sail up the stairs at work, and feel better about yourself than you have in years (most of the time!).

Weight-loss and My Faith

I was reading today that someone was going to start doing a Bible Study called "Scale Down~ Live it Up!" and decided to check it out. The book focuses on making small changes and seeing big results (agreed! Small changes do really add up!!!). It also looks at how nurturing your relationship with God will also improve how you care for your body. This book got me thinking about my own faith and how it has helped me through the process of weight loss. I've never written about my faith in relation to my weight loss, but am going to take a stab at it tonight.

James 4:17 says "If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them." I was reading this verse one night for devotions and begin to ponder... If I know that I should work out but I don't, is it sin? If I know that I should eat healthy but I don't, is it sin? After much thought I realized that the answer to both of these questions was yes! This verse started me on my journey of weight loss.

Another verse that I have claimed throughout my journey is 1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.".   I FREQUENTLY have to claim this verse as I am walking pass the doughnuts on the counters or getting up from the table even though there is still a piece of pizza left over. God has called me to be healthy and through Him I have the power to make those healthy choices. People often tell me that I have great will power. It's not will power. I have a great God helps me through all circumstances.

Last one... 1 Corinthians 6:19 "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own". I have the Holy Spirit living inside of me and that inspires me to take care of the body He has given me.

I'm far from perfect, but I serve a perfect God that gives me the energy that I need on days that I don't want to work out and gives me the power that I need to make good food choices. I have many other reasons for losing weight (my kids, the loss of my dad, being a better wife, feeling better about myself....), but have learned to lean on God in those times that the other motivating facts aren't keeping me on track.

The Great Scale Break-Up- Part 2

Last week I broke up with my scale and committed to not weighing myself for one week. I know that that may not seem like a big deal to most people, but for me it meant that I did not weight myself 21 times over the past week! Since I started the business of losing a lot of weight I have relied on the scale to tell me (multiple times a day!) if what I am doing is working. I still tracked on SparkPeople this week and rocked my exercise routine. The results??????
I lost a stinking half a pound! If you have followed my journey you'll know that I usually lose at least 2 lbs a week, but I do have my moments where I don't lose any weight. Here is what I know:

* I am on track to meet my calorie burn goals for the week. I actually should exceed my goals since I have ramped up my running this week.
* I have meet my nutrition goals for 5/7 days. Nope- won't meet it today (Thanksgiving!) :)
* My water hasn't been as good as I'd like since we've been out of school and I haven't had my water bottle on my desk.
* I tried a new class (BOXING!) and the gym yesterday and I am SORE!!!

The last two insights could have contributed to my minimal weight loss via fluid retention. Not a bad week all things considered. I've reminded myself several times today that my goal until New Year's is to simply not gain weight. I'm going to have hubby measure me on Sunday.

What have I learned not using the scale this week? I was relying way too much on the scale to validate my health and my success. The scale is a great tool to monitor weight loss, but it needs to be used as just a tool rather than the ultimate authority on your personal fitness success. I am going to go back to weighing myself, but only once a day instead of the 3 times that I was doing.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Week-long Half Marathon

Run #1

I decided earlier this week that I would run a half marathon, but that I would give myself a week to complete each of those miles. My original plan was to run 1.87 miles a day for 7 days. I was talking with a fellow runner and telling her how I normally run approximately 9 miles a week. She suggested that I just add an extra mile to each of my usual runs and then squeeze in another mile some other time during the week instead of running each day. I wasn't sure that I could even complete 4 miles, but figured I'd give it a shot. Today was the first run and I am delighted to report that I ran 4.27 miles in 56 minutes and burned 787 calories. I even cranked up the speed on the treadmill for the last few minutes because I am such a rock star!

8.83 miles to go... My next run will be on Tuesday and I'll add to this post after that run.

Run #2

School was cancelled today due to snow and ice, but the gym was open! Today I ran for 4.30 miles in 55 minutes and burned 768 calories. I find that around the second mile I always need to stop to go to the bathroom. Probably an odd thing to share, but I am hoping someone has some great insight into this new running issue. I was worried that my first run was just  fluke or that I was on a treadmill that didn't really know how to track mileage. I picked a different treadmill today and was able to complete my miles a whole minute faster. Looking forward to my final run on Friday after a yummy Thanksgiving dinner.

4.53 miles to go... I might squeeze in a half mile tomorrow so that I don't have to do extra on Friday.

Run #3

Final run today! It was tough to get to the gym. My mom made an amazing dinner for Thanksgiving and I ate way to much yesterday. My mom would tell you that I didn't eat enough, but I am here to tell you that I had plenty! :)  I even ate an AWESOME piece of apple pie. Everything in moderation...

Today I ran 4.55 miles in 60 minutes and burned 828 calories! The highlight of my run was that I was able to run for a full mile at 5.0. Ladies and gentleman- that is  a 12 minute mile!!! I didn't think I was capable of doing a 12 minute mile, but today I totally did.

I set out to run a half marathon (13.1 miles) over the course of a week. In the past 6 days I ran a total of 13.12 miles. Woo Hoo!

Death by Step Class

For a few weeks now I have been attending a FANTASTIC step class with an instructor (props to Linda!)  who is great at calling out the steps and breaking down moves into steps that I can *usually* understand. Today was not pretty! I set up my step in the rear left corner of the room for several reasons...
* I don't want to mess up other steppers by doing the wrong steps in front of them.
* I don't want other steppers watching me mess up.
* I hate running into other people when I am stepping the wrong direction.

Do you sense a theme? Yep, I mess up quite a bit in step and it's OK. :) Today it seemed liked all of the moves were facing the rear left corner. I had a tough time learning the steps when I was facing an empty wall with no one in front of or next to me to follow. All of the reasons that I stay in the rear left corner flew out the window. All eyes were on me doing the wrong steps and facing the wrong direction. Once I got it in my head that I wasn't able to do these steps all hope was lost. Ugh!

What did I do???? Here were the choices that ran through my head:
* Leave out of frustration
* Do a basic step-up for the rest of class
* Bang my head against the wall until I passed out
* Move to another section of the room

I went with the last option and moved to the right side of the room near the front which, for today, was the rear of the room. Confused? Imagine how I felt! ;) I stayed there until I had figured out the steps (for the most part) and then returned to my step for the end of class. I survived step class, burned 568 calories in 55 minutes, and proved to myself once again and I am stronger as an individual than I ever thought I could be- both personally and physically.

Breaking Up

I have to break up with my scale. Over the course of my journey my scale has become my best friend and my worst enemy at the same time. My name is Kari and I weigh myself 2 or 3 times a day. How I feel about myself and my fitness level has become dependent on my weight that morning. In my head I know that weight fluctuates and that it is the long term progress that counts, but in my heart it appears that I have not grasped this concept.

When I eat pizza my weight always goes up a pound or two (stupid fluid retention!) for a few days and then returns to normal. I had a piece of pizza last night. Today I weighed myself (as I do EVERY morning) and was devastated to see that the scale had crept up .2 lbs from yesterday. I was devastated! I shouldn't have been. The weight gain (if you even call .2 a gain?) was expected and yet it caused me to doubt all of my efforts and get frustrated with my progress.

So, I am breaking up with my scale. I have committed to not weighing myself for a week. This is a big deal for me and one that I have second guessed all morning. The scale is ONE indicator of my health, but there are many other indicators that show me I am making great progress. Today I ran at a 5.0 for half of my 30 minute run and 4.0 for the other half. When I first started I was running a 3.5 for 30 seconds. Whoot! Whoot! Also, I tried the stair climber today for the first time and lasted 10 minutes and 31 floors. THAT is proof that I am healthy and in a good place today. See you next week scale. :)

My new crazy plan

I was talking to a good friend of mine and she made a prediction that within the next two years I would run a marathon. I laughed for a bit and then told her that I would run a marathon today if they would give me a week to finish. That got me thinking....

Starting on this Sunday, November 21st, I am going to begin a half marathon that will last 7 days. I will run 1.87 miles a day for 7 days and complete a half marathon. :) If I am successful at this attempt than over Christmas break I will attempt to complete my first marathon in a week. I am thinking Thanksgiving week will be a good week to attempt this run since it's a short work week and I need to work off the extra stuffing. (Yum!!!!)

Anyone with me? Who else wants to run a half marathon? You get a whole week to finish! I'm going to start a separate blog of Sunday where I'll document my miles each day and how long it takes for each run.

You're still beautiful, a size 14 skirt, and goal setting

Back from vacation and I am happy to report that I was able to maintain my weight even though I had fast food twice this week and spent a total of 13 hours in the car over the course of 4 days. I ran 3 out of the 4 days I was on vacation and did a decent job of watching my food without the help of Spark People or my food scale. I went to visit my grandparents and spent 3 days hearing how great I look- a girl really can't get enough of that. :)

Since my picture montage I've had several people make a comment similar to this: You were always beautiful. This got me thinking. When I started losing weight I had one goal in mind and that was to get healthy. Over the course of losing weight I have discovered a variety of new body parts- collar bones, hip bones, and rocking calves. I also look younger and have a better complexion. I never posted my pictures for people to see how beautiful I have become. See, I always thought that I was beautiful. My beauty comes from Christ. I am beautiful because of who I am in Him. I posted my pictures because there is really no other way to document my progress in a way that others could truly understand. Hopefully I am not coming across as boastful or prideful. I truly am amazed at who I've become and want to celebrate with those who have been such a support to me.

On another note, I went to Macy's today for some new clothes. My 18's that I bought in August are dragging on the ground and I have become desperate for new pants. I made some great scores! I bought two skirts and a pair of pants for $23. The pants and one skirt are a comfy size 16 on super clearance and the other skirt is a size 14 (!!!!!!!) also on super clearance. The 14 is cotton and therefor stretchy, but as I explained to my husband, it is STILL a 14. Woot! Woot!

I've set a new goal- my new goal is to not gain weight between now and January 1st. I heard on the radio the other day that the average American gains 8 to 10 pounds between Halloween and New Years. I will still continue my exercise program, but have decided to give myself the slack needed to enjoy and not obsess over the eating season. That doesn't mean I will forget all that I have learned about healthy eating, but it does mean that I can enjoy Thanksgiving stuffing and not feel bad the next morning.

Baggy Jeans and Barbells

Yesterday was quite the day! I felt like I was living in a bad Country Western song- Late for work, students off task, tired beyond tired, forgot my lunch at home, broken down car, wrong pants brought to the gym, rainy day, spilled apple juice, crying over our Kindergarten homework, and a rough time getting the kids to bed.

The was victory in my day!!!! I didn't eat my feelings away. I didn't even cry. I logged my food, drank my water, gave MANY things over to God, and pressed forward. Hubby packed my gym bag for me (note the wrong pants), picked me up from work (note the broken down car) and took the kids and me to the gym. I went to change into my gym shorts and found my 5 year old daughters purple shorts that ARE the same color, but about a 1/10 of the size that I wear. :)

So... the old Kari would have said, "Forget it, I can't work out since I don't have any pants to wear". Not the new Kari! I put on my tank top, threw on my baggy jeans and headed to weight lifting class. I do have to admit that I missed my exercise pants, but had a good workout in my baggy jeans. It even made class a little bit more fun. Each time I looked in the mirror I had to giggle at the fact that I was working out in jeans. It was quite the site to see.

Heading out tomorrow for a little vacation. 6+ hours in the car each way. I've packed some healthy snacks for the trip. I'm packing my running gear and am hoping to come home to see maintenance on the scale after vacation. I'll blog when I get back.

Beyond obesity with picture montage

Last night I stepped on the scale and saw that I was only half a pound away from being out of the "obesity" range according to my BMI chart. Woo hoo!!! I was like a little kid on Christmas eve last night. I woke up every few hours wanting the sun to come up so that I could go weigh myself again. I am 5'10" and the top of my overweight range is 208 pounds. I weighed myself this morning and weighed 207.6 pounds. Now, most women would not be bragging about their weight, but for me this is a weight I have been working towards for 17 months!

How did I celebrate my new status???? I went to the gym and went for a run on the treadmill.  Today has been interesting....

I remember when I got married and we were driving to our honeymoon location. It was a bit of a bummer. I had planned for months and months for this single day and in an instant it was over. My weight loss experience has been similar. I've always thought 208 was this magical number. I am the same today as I was yesterday. The only difference is that now my doctor won't check the obese box when I go in for my next appointment. On the flip side I am nothing like I was 17 months ago.

Today also brought a bit of anxiety. I started to wonder: What if I gain it all back? What if this suddenly becomes too hard? What if I just stop caring? I read blogs ALL THE TIME about people who have lost 50+ pounds only to gain it back. I can't imagine doing that to my body, but I know that it does happen. This is where my friends come in. I am asking you to be brave and remind me of my goals and the importance of taking care of my body if the day does come that I begin to slack. Hubby has very specific directions about how to kick me in the butt if he ever sees me not taking care of my body or making excuses for continual poor eating choices.

Don't get me wrong! Today has been full of celebrations, but also some anxiety and post goal meeting let-down. I always said that I would do a photo montage once I reached my major goal of no longer being obese. Before I post I must give thanks to my friends and family that have been SOOO supportive of my efforts. I have a friend who actually ran a 5K with me to support my efforts. Another friend always calls and reminds me of how proud she is of my progress. Countless friends who started C25K when I was in the thick of it. I loved hearing their progress. Lastly, I have an amazing husband who has supported all of my crazy goals (and fitness purchases!) and great kids who have let me drag them to the gym on countless days so that Mommy can get healthy. XOXOXOXO
I'm not sure what my next big goal will be, but I know that I already have established the routines in my life needed to meet that goal.

Here's the montage:

I have SO not arrived

I have been feeling great about my progress over the past few days. In the next month (hopefully less) I will no longer be considered "obese" using my handy BMI calculator. I have fallen in love with shopping for smaller clothing and my body is now capable of things I never thought possible. Here's the rub....

Last night was Halloween and I had a TOUGH time. We went to a Halloween activity at church and had a blast. When we went inside to play games there were cupcakes everywhere. They were beautifully displayed and smelled amazing. I had a glass of water and tried to ignore the cupcakes, but it was so hard. When we were leaving church I was a little bit cranky that I *couldn't* have a cupcake. I know, I know...I could have had one! Here's the problem- I know that if I have had one cupcake I would have spent the rest of the night eating, eating, eating.

When we got home we ate dinner and go ready to go out Trick or Treating. Hubby was staying home to pass out candy. I opened the bag of candy to put in the bowl for the Trick or Treaters and it smelled amazing. I wanted candy! I was strong and one had one piece, but really wanted more. Then I started to have those thoughts...
Why does everyone else get to eat candy and I don't?
I'm mad that I can't eat whatever I want.
This shouldn't be so hard.

As I am writing down what I was thinking/feeling I have realized what a baby I was being. It's not that everyone else can do it. For MOST of us there are consequences to what we eat. Life isn't fair- I am not going to get everything that I want in life. That's not how it works. Of course this is going to be hard- change is hard! I look forward to the day when my mood is not determined by what I choose to eat or not eat. For now? I'm going to stick to my guns, make healthy choices, and wait for some pie at Thanksgiving. :)

I don't want your stupid cupcake

Whew! Today at school (work) was tough! Everywhere I looked there was candy and sweets. The day started with a front office counter covered with doughnuts and some sort of yummy smelling bread. I then when to my box and was greeted by a bag of miniature candy bars. (TWIX- my favorite!!!) Several of the classrooms were having parties. I swear I could have walked up and down the hall and told you which room had sweets based on the smell of the door. :) This afternoon was a parade of cupcakes in my classroom. Every few minutes a sweet child from another room would come in and offer me one of his or her beautifully decorated mouth watering cupcakes. Each time I would politely say, "No thank you". What I was thinking is, "No, I don't want your stupid, delicious, frosted, sweet, fattening, unhealthy, feeling guilty later cupcake". They'd look at me strangely (who would not want a cupcake?) and move one to the next classroom.

I have learned over time to no longer feel cheated when confronted with the reality that I can no longer eat cupcakes by the dozen on "special days". In the past my problem was that each and every day was a "special occasion". Back to the cupcakes- I hated telling the children "no" because they were so sweet and only trying to share. I had a few other options- take them and throw them away (wasteful!) or take them home to my kiddos. This bring up another issue- Since I am choosing not to have cupcakes because they aren't the best choice for my health, should I really be taking them home to my kids? I decided that they answer to that question was no and passed on all cupcakes today.

It's only just begun. The eating season is upon us! I will maintain control over the weeks to come and beyond the holidays. I may even have to start trying to cook (gasp!!) some healthy alternatives to old time favorites. Have a safe and happy Halloween!

Confessions from the dressing room (with pictures)

Finding clothes that fit well has been a continual problem since I have started losing weight. It is great that I need new clothes because mine are too large, but it can also be a huge frustration (and expense!). I often find myself in-between sizes and finding a good fit is tough! My father-in-law gave me an Old Navy gift card for my birthday. I had been holding on to it for a month or so until I was falling out of my size 18's. Today was the day and I got frustrated enough with my too big jeans and decided to go spend my gift card.

When I arrived at Old Navy I decided to try on size 14's. Why, oh why would I try on 14's? I just started wearing 18's in July. I think that in each of us there is this little part that is never satisfied. I tried on the 14's and got frustrated. Here's the rub- I could button the 14's (woo hoo!), but my rear looked like two pillows shoved into one very small pillow case. Why can't I be happy with the progress I have made? Hmmm...
For a moment I pouted that I didn't look better in the 14's and then I tried on this great XL dress/shirt outfit and saw how AMAZING I looked. When I started my weight loss journey I was wearing a 3X in "plus size" and today I put on an awesome dress in an XL in ladies (not womens, not plus, not nothin!). Here is a pic of me when I started losing weight (143 pounds ago) and me in my new outfit today:


June 2009



October 2010

I did a happy dance in my new dress and then proceeded to buy two new pairs of pants, two dress/shirt things (don't know what to call those!), and two pairs of leggings for $54. Did I mention that they are having 40% off clearance and everything that I got was on clearance. I ended my day with a great chicken and rice dinner and an awesome workout at the gym. Woot! Woot!

Kids say the best things!

Last night I was putting my daughter to bed and she said, "Mommy, why is there an indent in your throat?" I couldn't figure out what she was talking about so I asked her to explain. She said, "Well, right here (pointing to my throat) it use to stick out and was lumpy, not it is smooth and goes in". Ha! She noticed that I had lost weight in my throat. I have thinned out quite a bit through my face and it was so cute that her 5 year old mind noticed something like a skinny neck.

Then today at school one of my first graders asked me how I got to be so small. I looked at him puzzled and he continued, "Last year you were, ummm, not so small and now you are real small." I told him that I had been working really hard to get to be "small" and thanked him for noticing.

Finally, tonight my son and I were running from the car into the gym and he said, "Look, I am a runner just like Mommy!". Then when we were leaving the gym he saw the big muscle guys lifting weights downstairs and he said, "When I am a big boy I am going to exercise down there."

I LOVED that!!! I have often felt guilty for taking time to go to the gym or to work out instead of spending time with my children. I have become an example to my own children and to my students of healthy living and fitness. Days like this make this journey a little bit easier.

My Waiting Place

Here is a repost of a blog that I posted on http://www.sparkpeople.com/. It explains what I chose My Weighting Place as the title for my new blog. My previous blogs can be found on my SparkPeople blog page.

Friday, October 01, 2010

Dr. Seuss wrote a great book called "The Places You Will Go". In this story the main character goes to many different places on his way to success. One of the places he stops is in the "Waiting Place" where everyone is just waiting. Waiting for a bus. Waiting for a date. Everyone is just waiting.

During my weight loss journey I often come to this waiting place. I am currently in a waiting place. My scale hasn't moved in about a week. No big deal, but not the usual. I do weigh myself every morning and every morning the scale does a little something. It might be up a little. Usually it goes down a 1/3 or even an 1/8 of a pound. When I hit my "waiting place" it stays the same no matter what I do. I can work out, eat more, eat less, drink a lot of water, drink no water. It stays the same! For example, I have weight 222.4 for 4 days in a row. The scale has not moved even a 1/10th up or down in 4 days. Strange, huh?

I get to this "waiting place" every 5-7 weeks. There doesn't seem to be a rhyme or reason for my arrival. I'll be in my "waiting place" for a week or two and then SNAP I'll get right out of it. The week following my "waiting place" brings me big losses on the scale. Someone might be discouraged in this waiting place, but I see it as a healthy reminder that the scale is NOT the only thing that matters. I am healthy, strong, and getting better every day!

So, what do I do when I hit a little plateau? I log my food, exercise 5 days a week, drink water and get enough sleep- the same thing I do every day!