Running Celebrations!!!

Just last night I posted about how I was dreading my run. This morning I got up and had an AMAZING run! Wanna see the proof???? 

That's right baby! 37:48 and 3.12 miles! I've set a goal of running my 5k on Sept 10th in under 40 minutes. I'm hoping that today's run is a good indicator of future success.

Here's the strange part...last week I only ran once! You'd think that running 3X a week would result in better running times overall. Apparently I really did need a running time out. :) I'm not sure what I am going to do with this...do I reduce my runs to twice a week? Do I keep going on with 3X a week? What made me so much faster this week?

I have a lot of questions! Do you have any answers???

~Kari

Confession: Running scares me

I run.

I run because it clears my head.

I run because it gives me a great calorie burn in a short amount of time.

I run because I feel empowered when I finish.

Running scares me! The thought of lacing up my shoes and going for a run causes me anxiety. Once I start running all of those fears disappear. For example, tomorrow morning I am going to go for a run and tonight I am dreading the idea of running. It's so hard. I have to push myself the whole time. It's so hard. What if I fall down? It's so hard.

Why post this blog? One of my motivations for starting this blog was to encourage and inspire. Here's my encouragement for the day: You may not struggle with running. What do you struggle with when it comes to healthy living? Can you push through it just one more time? Tomorrow morning I am going to lace up my shoes and head out the door. What's your plan????

Gas Station Pizza

I took a break this weekend. I didn't exercise for two days in a row. I can't remember the last time I skipped a workout for two days. We were visiting family in eastern Washington and it was just way too hot to run.

On top of skipping my Sunday run, I also ate pizza at a gas station. It was the kind of pizza that folds in half when you pick it up by the crust because it is so loaded with toppings. Did I mention the grease? It was actually leaking through the box. The good news is that I was STUFFED after just one slice.

While eating my pizza and skipping my run I felt great. I felt relaxed. I enjoyed extra time to visit with family. I enjoyed rubbing the grease off of my son's chin. :) It was nice to not count calories (can you only imagine what was in the pizza?!?!). It was a relief to not worry about my heart rate monitor and the fact that (gasp!!!) I wasn't going to meet my exercise goal for the week.

You can probably already guess the ending....After putting the kids to bed I crashed on the couch. My weekend of overeating and little exercise has left me feeling bloated, tired, and a bit on edge.

I'm smiling! Here's why- It's ok that I overate. It's ok that I missed a workout. Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow I am going to make healthy choices. Tomorrow I am going to get in a great workout. Weekends like this help me to remember how much better I feel when I am making healthy choices. Looking forward to healthier options in the morning.

~Kari

The Great Juggling Act

Do you ever feel like this? There are days where I wish that I had octopus arms and 2 bodies to make it all work. I have to go back to work next week. :(
Twice this week I attended all day long trainings. I was too tired to get up before work and after work I didn't want to work out. Tonight I actually fell asleep on the couch while watching Clifford. Here is a "typical" day during the school year:
- Get up at 7:00 (I think it will have to be 6:30 this year...)
- Leave for work at 7:45
- Home from work at 3:30
- At the gym for workout by 4:30
- Home and dinner at 6:00
- Bed time routines by 7:30
- Kids in bed at 8:00
- Bed time for me at 11:00

Repeat again in the morning....

Somewhere in there we include soccer lessons, homework, special events at school, and taking care of the house. I am incredibly blessed to have an amazing husband who stays home during the day and works nights. He takes care of a lot of the household chores (cooking, laundry, grocery shopping), but there are things that a man misses when caring for the home.

I know that I can make it all balance out. The idea of juggling everything again exhausts me! Feeling overwhelmed tonight....

~Kari



A Year Ago Today

Are you on Facebook? Of course you are! Everyone is on Facebook, right? They recently added a new feature that puts your status update from a year ago on the right hand side of your page. Here is my status update from one year ago:

Kari has officially lost 120 OR

a chunky model using SparkPeople.

Reading this today got me teary eyed. Since that post I have gone on to lose another 50ish pounds. I'm proud that I went on to lose another 50 pounds. I am prouder that I continued to keep off that first 120 pounds. When I first started losing weight I remember Dr. Phil saying, "The next year is going to go by whether or not you lose weight." One choice and one day at a time. I can't wait to see what the next year will bring.

~Kari

If only THEY knew....

the new fitness class instructors~the sales lady at Old Navy who had to bring me smaller jeans~the barista at Starbucks who wonders why I no longer get a grande white chocolate mocha~the waitress who seats me in a booth and know that I can fit~the guy at Pump it Up who asked me about my scar



There were teacher changes at my gym this week. Taking classes from new teachers brings out the "fat girl" inside of me. She is insecure, clumsy, forgetful, and unwilling to push through when a workout gets too difficult. During a great yoga class today I realized something. (I know, I know, during yoga my mind if suppose to be free of thought, but that wasn't happening today) When people don't know that I was once fat there is this part of me that feels like I need to explain it to them. For example...

"I know that I am barely binding my right angle pose, but only two years ago I couldn't even reach below me knee."

"Yep, I did trip over the step when I was suppose to pivot. Two years ago I weight 170 pounds more than I do today. Sometimes I just make mistakes."

"Could you please bring my a size 12? I know that a 12 is still on the larger side, but two years ago I use to wear a 30 so a 12 is pretty stinking fantastic!"

"No, I don't want whip cream. I have to get a skinny latte instead of what I really want because I can't drink 500 calories a day and continue to maintain my weight loss."

As I get further and further away from the old Kari I find that more and more people don't know me from my before pictures.

I am becoming more than a before picture. 

My hope now is that as I become more comfortable in my own skin that this desire to explain and rationalize my choices and shortcomings to others will begin to fade. Until then.... did you know that I use to wear a (tight!) size 30 jean and am now very comfortable in a size 12?

What about you? Do you feel the need to explain your choices or to tell the waitress that you didn't always fit in the booth?

~Kari

Working it Out by Abby Rike

I read a book this week! Yes, I am a reading teacher. No, I don't really like to read books. This week I read "Working It Out" by Abby Rike. This book is amazing! Abby was the contestant on the Biggest Loser whose family had all died in a horrible car accident. Here's what I loved about this book, Abby's loss was tremendous, but her grief is not unique. Many of us have been through loss or issues in our life that make us feel like we can never get out from under them. I learned a lot from this book. Today I am going to leave you with one of my favorite quotes from the book.

"I wish every overweight person could step into the body of a fit person for one week, maybe just one day. I think it would be the catalyst for a new resolve. If you could "feel" the end, you would stay the course." Working It Out, page 239

That is what keeps me on course. I have felt what a fit body feels like and it feels so good! Check out Abby's book if you have a chance. It was a real encouragement to me. :)

~Kari

Healthy living on a budget

Warning- Blabbering rant ahead....

For the first time in my adult life I am finding myself needing to be on a tight budget. We've had a lot of medical expenses over the past year and they have pushed our finances over the edge. I know that I'm not alone in this struggle to make ends meet. I went grocery shopping today and nearly burst into tears in the produce isle. We are having friends over tomorrow night and are having tacos. I prefer romaine over iceberg lettuce. It's full of vitamins, it's tastier, it looks better. Here's the rub- romaine was twice the price of iceberg lettuce! I know it's only a dollar difference, but it's still a dollar. A dollar won't pay the hospital bills, but it will help. Hamburger Helper was on sale. I know that Hamburger Helper is a horrible, unhealthy choice for my family. It's loaded with sodium and preservatives. It's cheap. I've worked so hard to lose weight. Part of losing weight has been replacing my processed, sodium filled foods with fresh, healthy alternatives.

I love my gym. I know that it's important to exercise. I am able to workout because I can put my kids in the Kid Zone while I workout. My gym costs about $75 a month. If I quit going to the gym I could help pay the bills. But I love my gym. Then I start to think about other workout options. Running is free. My Kinect is free. What do I do with the kids while I am running or doing Kinect? They can do it with me. It's just not the same.

How do you stay healthy on a budget????

Longing to be Normal

How do people do it? How do they maintain a healthy weight without recording their food? How do they stop grazing when there is nothing holding them accountable for their food choices? I stopped recording this week and guess what?! Yep, I gained. Again, not a huge gain, but a gain. When I don't record these awful habits creap back in...

- having 2 (yes 2!) pieces of cake at a birthday party
- not drinking enough water
- extra pieces of bread with dinner
- grabbing a handful of pretzels several times a day

I feel like I need to accept recording as my "normal", but I don't want to. I want to be one of those people that just knows that they are full and that don't eat the cake because they just aren't in the mood. It took me close to 30 years of overeating to figure out that I don't want to live in an unhealthy body. Is it really going to take another 30 years to undo these habits?
~Kari

Fit Friday

I love my Friday morning runs! Thursdays are my "day off" from exercise and I *usually* feel pretty good on Fridays. Here's my run from today:

I am running a 5k on September 10th with Free to Breathe. I ran this same race last year in a little over 43 minutes. My goal is to complete the race in less than 40 minutes. Today I ran a 5k in 40 min and 48 sec. Hey! I never said that I was fast. :) The route that I ran today was full of hills and the course for Free to Breathe is flat. I have my NikePlus set up to tell me the miles at 1/4 mile increments. My run today went like this: walk a 1/4 mile, run 1 mile, walk a 1/4 mile, run 3/4 of a mile, walk a 1/4 mile, run .62 mile.

I felt great after my run. It's not always like that. I ran on Tuesday and felt horrible at the end. Running, or any exercise for that matter, isn't about how you feel today. It's about lacing up your shoes and getting it done. Some days are easier than others. Sometimes you feel amazing afterwards, sometimes you want to puke. I've found through this experience that the days when it's the hardest are the days that I see the most growth. There is a strength to be found in taking care of your body even when you don't "feel" like it.

~ Kari

Motivation is on it's way....

*Sometimes* my kids don't follow directions that first time that they are given. :) My husband will say from the couch, "Don't worry, motivation is on the way". The know that they had better get to following directions before "motivation" gets off the couch.

Today was a big day in our house. My son had eye surgery this morning to repair his lazy eye. I got up early to drink a cup of coffee and read my blogs before the house started to stir. I opened my e-mail and was SHOCKED to see so many e-mails from SparkPeople.  Why so many e-mails? Each day SparkPeople sends out healthy living e-mails where they share health news and spotlight a SparkPeople member who is the "Motivator of the Day". Yep, you guessed it. I was the Motivator of the Day today! What a fantastic surprise.

I had planned on eating poorly today. Come on! My son's having surgery- doesn't that give me permission to abuse my body with unhealthy foods? Can't I skip exercise? He needs me. Drinking water? BUT I had to get up so early. 

Being the Motivator of the Day came at the perfect time! It helped me to focus on my goals. It reminded me of how far I've come. It made me feel valued and successful. (Yep, it did all of that before 6:15 AM!) All too often we rely on how we *feel* to motivate us towards our goals. My goals didn't change just because I was worried about my son. I had a healthy breakfast, packed fruit and my water bottle for the hospital, and even got in a nap AND a run this afternoon while my hubby took over cuddling with our son.

I won't leave you hanging on the surgery- Everything went wonderfully. He was an amazing trooper. We spent most of the day cuddling, watching tv, and playing trains.

~Kari

The Good Ole Days?

Do you have a favorite time from your past?

High school? College? Before marriage? Before kids?

A few days ago someone added me to a group on Facebook called "You know you went to **Insert name of school** when...". This group has exploded into a huge jumbled mess of graduates from the past 20+ years. It's been fun to reconnect with people from my past and read as others remember their time in college. For many of these people their college days were the "Good ole days". While in college I LOVED college, but I was so insecure. I had few friends. The friends that I had were amazing. I was terrified of social situations where I thought that my weight would come into play (sitting in booths in the student center, squeezing into the backseat of someone's car, finding a spot on the bleachers, going shopping with friends, etc). I desperately wanted to be popular, to be in love, to be a "cool kid". I was none of those things.

Don't be too sad for me. :) As I look back on the past I can see that today (right now, this very moment) are what the "Good Ole Days" are made of. Today is what I have. I have chosen to take care of my health so that I can make the most of every single day. I exercise and make healthy food choices so that I can make amazing memories to share with my family. I love where I'm at right now in my life.

This is by far my favorite time of life! What about you?

Platence

It it a plateau? It is maintenance? Nope- it's platence! :) A few weeks ago I was a little offended when someone told me that I had hit a plateau. I was rethinking that situation this morning and decided that I need a new word. Thus platence was born! Maintenance is hard. Plateaus are hard. I'm sort of in the middle of both right now. I had hubby take a few measurements this morning. The first numbers are from May 1st (pre-op) and the second numbers are from today. For kicks I'll put the #'s in red from when I first started.

Bust- 33.5/34.5 (52.25)
Chest- 37.5/37.5 (49.68)
Weight- 194/191 (356)
Waist- 40.25/37 (59) (This one is tricky- my belly button is in a new place and I usually measure my waist two inches above my belly button)
Hips- 43.25/40.25 (59.75) (Another tricky measurement- my stomach use to hang over my hips and was included in the hip measurement. No more stomach over hang and thus a major reduction in that number)
Thigh- 22.5/23 (27.25) (I'm TOTALLY ok with this as my thighs are super strong!!!)
Arm- 13/11.5 (21.25) (Again, post-op arms- Whoop! Whoop!)


I like looking at my measurement becuase they often tell the real story. Maybe I'm bragging a bit. More than making myself feel good I'm posting these numbers to encourage you! No matter where you are- there is always hope. You can meet your goals. You got this! :)

The Things My Kids Say

Bug (my 4 year old): Mommy, why do you run?
Me: Because it makes my heart feel better
Bug: Oh, then you should run to the doctor and he could help.

(I love that kid!)

Sissy (my 6 year old): Mommy, I'm hungry in the head, but not in my stomach.
Me: What are you hungry for?
Sissy: Um, I guess I'm not really hungry. Can I have a Fruit by the Foot?


My daughter's comment is way deeper and the root of my weight gain. I did have a great follow-up conversation with Sissy about how sometimes we just think that we are hungry because we are bored, tired, happy or sad and that we need to think before we eat to see if we are really hungry. My point is that my kids are talking about healthy eating and exercise and I LOVE this!

My 100th Post!

I've been racking my brain trying to think of something clever to write about for my 100th post. I feel like the best way to celebrate my 100th post is to take a walk down memory lane.

October 1, 2010:
During my weight loss journey I often come to this waiting place. I am currently in a waiting place. My scale hasn't moved in about a week. No big deal, but not the usual. I do weigh myself every morning and every morning the scale does a little something. It might be up a little. Usually it goes down a 1/3 or even an 1/8 of a pound. When I hit my "waiting place" it stays the same no matter what I do. I can work out, eat more, eat less, drink a lot of water, drink no water. It stays the same! For example, I have weight 222.4 for 4 days in a row. The scale has not moved even a 1/10th up or down in 4 days. Strange, huh?

* Please note that I wrote this 30 pounds and 10 months ago (TODAY!!!) I still hit those "waiting places".

December 29, 2010
I did what I was told to do and there was no congratulation banner in the waiting room, no parade around the nurses station, no announcement over the intercom that I was patient of the year; just a near lecture on how I've lost a lot of weight quickly.

* My doctor has since moved and I am now looking for a doctor who can be more supportive of my weight loss and give suggestions for continued maintenance.

March 26, 2011
I weight in a 189.2. I'll take it! I've lost 167 pounds! After my weigh-in he took my blood pressure. Here's the exciting part- my blood pressure was 117/72. According to the American Heart Association I have a healthy heart! That is success!!!!

May 8, 2011
In a little less than 12 hours I will be in surgery. I am getting a tummy tuck and arm lift. I've been hesitating to post hanging skin pictures, but I figure that by the time most of you see these I'll already be in surgery and I won't look like this anymore. :)  I've really struggled with my excess skin- especially during exercise. It pulls, pounds, and bounces at all the wrong times. Clothing shopping has become a huge challenge since clothes that fit though my waist are HUGE in the legs or fit through the arms and are huge through the chest. I am anxious to get into the operating room and begin this new step in my journey.

July 1, 2011

Yesterday afternoon we rolled into town after a week long visit to Long Beach, WA. We had a fantastic time! The sun shone on our trip and there was only one day of really icky weather. If you know anything about the ocean in the northwest, you know that the weather can be very ticky at any time of the year. I am now able to cross off another activity on my "Must do now that I am skinny list". I rode a horse on the beach!

It has been such an amazing journey over the past 10 months. Thank you for allowing me to share with you as I work my way through losing weight and getting healthy. I have met some amazing people along the way.

Here's to another 100 posts!!!